Sold to the devil
by hollyhocks09
Summary: Draco Malfoy was due to stand trial tomorrow. His whole family was. So when Harry Potter comes to their mannor and offers them a way out, how can they refuse? Evil Harry, with redemption.
1. Chapter 1

Draco Malfoy was due to stand trial tomorrow. His whole family was.

There was no way they were going to walk away free. The Malfoys were literally branded as evil, their dark marks bright on their pale skin, they were almost universally hated. They would be flung in jail, and they all knew it.

Draco was sitting on his bed, doing his best to enjoy his last evening at home. He felt a shiver run threw him that had nothing to do with the storm raging outside. Normally, he loved storms. When he could snuggle up under a blanket with a good book and his cat…but he was all too aware that this was the last time he would ever be able to do any of those things.

He was terrified. He pulled his blankets around him and tried to get comfortable. The only sounds in the room were Draco's irregular breathing and the ticking clock, which Draco felt a sudden irrational hatred for. It was eating away his freedom second by second and it was driving him mad. He wanted to run, go anywhere else in the world, but he just didn't have the guts.

His parents weren't fairing much better. They were downstairs in the parlour, his mother looking listlessly out of the window, his father with a drink in his hand. Again, there was silence but for the ticking clock.

Until the strangest thing happened; there was a knock at the door. It could barely be heard over the storm outside, but it made the two of them jump. Their house elf, Bonny, quickly saw their visitor in, while Mr. and Ms. Malfoy sat up straighter, not daring to believe this could be anything good. There was not a single person that would wish them well.

There was the sound of footsteps before the doors were flung open, and a soft but commanding voice said;

"Mr. and Ms. Malfoy." It was Harry potter, dressed head to toe in black, he wore phenomenally expensive robes, and had the air of someone in complete control. The kind of attitude the Malfoys themselves used to have. He smirked at the look of fear and shock on their faces. He had their entire future in the palm of his hand.

"Mr. Potter." Narcissa said, her mouth dry. "please, sit down. To what do we owe this pleasure?" she asked, desperate for her husband to finally grow a back bone and take the lead.

"Ah, straight to business is it? Good, I don't want to socialise with you." Harry said, sitting on the couch and stretching out, taking up all of it, forcing Narcissa to stay standing. "it's to do with your trial. Not surprisingly, as it's the only thing in your future. Apart from imprisonment that is."

The Malfoys knew this of course, but it was Harry's pleasure to twist the knife.

"I know who you are, you know who I am. And what I can do. And if you agree to my terms, I will help you. But I want your son. You give him to me no strings attached, and the two of you get to avoid Azkaban. You get house arrest, two years maximum, which in a house like this shouldn't be too much of a hardship. Draco will also stay out of Azkaban, you have my word on that. But he will stay with me."

Narcissa opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again, unable to comprehend what was happening. This was so sudden, she had never expected Potter of all people to suggest such a thing.

"we start the spell binding Draco to me tonight. I will give testimony at your trail tomorrow. Immediately after, we finish the spell." Harry said, knowing he had them right where he wanted them. He had waited until the last possible moment to offer his little solution, knowing how frantic they must be. He really hated these people. But he hated Draco the most, he wanted to hurt him with the same intensity that most people longed to make love. It was a new feeling certainty, only since the since the war had ended. But these feelings consumed him.

"May we have a moment to discuss this?" Narcissa asked.

"of course, but only a fool would reject my offer. You wouldn't be able to see him in jail anyway, although, of course, I would make sure you heard news of how well he was doing, or" And harry suddenly grinned at them "how unwell he was. Jail can be a vicious place."

They understood his threat immediately, and they had no doubt he could follow through. Life in jail was never good, but someone like Potter could make it a living hell if they wanted to.

"yes. Yes it can be. We should very much like our son to stay out of it." Narcissa said finally, "may we tell our son?"

"Excellent choice!" Harry wasn't at all surprised. They were not fools. "yes, tell him, I'm sure he'll be pleased. In fact why don't you call him in right now, we can all share the good news."

This wasn't what they meant and Harry knew it. They wanted to be the ones to break this news, they wanted to do it alone, they wanted to have the chance to explain….well harry wasn't going to give them that.

Narcissa rose silently and called Bonny, giving her orders to get Draco. Quite rightly, she assumed Harry wouldn't like her to fetch him herself. Harry didn't want Draco to have any warning. In the meantime Narcissa bought Harry a drink, some of their finest firewhisky. But it didn't take long for Draco to come in, looking tired and nervous.

"Mother?" Draco asked, and then; "Potter? What-" but his mother quickly interrupted. She didn't know exactly what Potter wanted from her son, but she could guess one thing he would want; total obedience. It would not do for Draco to insult Harry.

"Draco darling. Mr. Potter has come to help us." Draco's eye brows shot up. God, her son was so innocent in so many ways. He wouldn't have any idea of what he was getting involved with until it was far too late. Could she really sell him like this? She would have too, surly it would be better than jail.

"He has agreed to give testimony tomorrow. He will…arrange for your father and I-" His father, Draco just noticed was staring at the opposite wall, utterly unmoved by all of it, but his mother was still speaking. "to get house arrest, for a few years. You will go with him, and he... will take care of you." She tried to get him to understand what that really meant; servitude, but oh he so clearly didn't….

"Arnt you glad, Draco?" Harry practically purred. " I'm doing you a favour, you should say thank you."

"…thank you" Draco said. He would remember that moment for the rest of his life. He really didn't know what was going on, but his parents were okay with it, so surly that was good?

"good boy." Harry said, god he was loving this. He knew Draco was going to put up a fight, he wanted him too. He wanted to dominate that little bitch, wanted to hurt him and make him cry. And yes, he was going to force himself on him.

Because yeah, he had saved the fucking world. He was Harry Potter he could do and get anything he wanted.

"Now." Harry said, standing up suddenly. "let the magic begin." He stalked over to Draco and grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look up. "Now precious, we are going to perform a ritual. Your parents are going to formally transfer ownership of you over to me."

Ownership. That was when Draco really understood. His eyes went wide and he gulped, silently begging Potter to turn back into the guy he knew back in school, nice, sweet, blatantly annoying, but honourable. Where had he gone?

The first half of the ceremony was swift and unforgiving. Draco knelt at Harry's feet and pledged to obey and serve no matter what. The rest they would do tomorrow, after the trail.

Harry did exactly what he said he would; he convinced the judge, jury and press that, in the end the Malfoys had done the right thing. The elder Malfoys were to go into house arrest, and Draco was to go in to care- Harry's care.

He smiled and chatted away happily, charming every one. He loved this almost as much as he loved the thought of dominating Draco. He liked fooling every one, making them think he was still so honourable. God they were stupid. And week. He hated them. But he needed them, at least for a little longer.

The next part of the ceremony went equally well. For Harry at least. It ended by Harry slipping a red sparkly collar around his pet's neck, attaching a leash and giving it a good yank, Draco jerking back. The ceremony done, Harry marched them out of Malfoy mannor.

He did not let them say good bye.

He did not take Draco to his main home, a ridiculously expensive penthouse flat in London. He instead took him to an equally extravagant but much more secluded home in the country side.

"This is your home now." He told Draco as they walked in the front door. "when I am staying here I expect you to clean, make my meals, be ready and willing for me to service you at any time, and obey any other orders I may give you, understand?"

"y-yes." Draco said, in complete shock. This… he just didn't understand what was happening.

"Draco?" Harry said softly. "look at me." Draco did so. "I think you mean "yes master"" He said, again in that soft, cool voice. And then he lashed out, viciously backhanding Draco, his Gryffindor ring slicing in to his flesh, blood dripping out. "What the fuck?" Draco spat out, clutching his cheek. But immediately he wished he hadn't, Harry's hand went straight for Draco's throat, he was slammed against the wall and Harry was bellowing at him. "did you just swear at me? Did you just question me? And did you forget again, to address me correctly?"

Harry slammed him again into the wall, before hurling him to the floor. "I guess I'm going to have to teach you a few lessons. I had hoped that you would take my subtle hint about how you should address me, but I guess not." Harry was now snarling at him, rage like he had never before felt boiling inside of him. He aimed a powerful kick at his pet, who immediately curled into a foetal position.

" I am your master. Never forget that. I always have and always will be your superior in every way." He spat at Draco, who let out a soft sob. Harry hated crying, hated how messy and nosiey it was.

And so he beat him more and more, making him stand up and offer his face to his master to be slapped, making him ask for it, making him bleed and bruise. Finally, after what felt like an age to Draco, Harry stopped and asked; "learn your lesson?"

"y-yes master." Draco sniffed. "good." Harry said. "now clean this blood up. And I expect dinner in an hour."

_What do you think, should I leave it as a one shot, or expand it in to a story? _


	2. Chapter 2

_So thanks for the reviews, a few people said that they didn't find an evil Harry believable. Well, in a way I agree. So in the expanded story, yes there will be a reason that he's evil, but it won't come for a couple of chapters, so please be just a little patient. Also, how do you feel about this turning in to a harry/severus/draco threesome? And I mean emotionally, not just sexually _

And a special thanks to nyxxxxx and Mary who to took the time to write long, lovely and helpful reviews.

It didn't get better for Draco. He spent all of his time in pain and fear.

Harry took his virginity. He ripped it from him.

He kept exceedingly strict restrictions on what Draco was allowed to do and eat, often forcing him to create elaborate meals for Harry, while he was only allowed one cold bowl of rice a day. The first time this happened, Draco tried to sneak eating the left overs figuring Harry wouldn't notice. Harry did, he physically dragged him into the bathroom, before slamming the door and hurling a vicious curse at Draco, forcing him to vomit. He tore into Draco, throwing all kinds of dark magic at him, punishing him for his own faults as well as everyone else's.

At first Draco truly believed that he would die before the first week was over. But Harry wasn't that kind.

But every now and again Draco was "a good boy." And Harry lavished praise and attention on him, perhaps giving him extra food or a blanket for the night- Draco was usually made to sleep on the bare floor next to Harry's bed. These cruelly, gave Draco a glimmer of hope, believing that only if he tried harder, or was a better slave, then Harry would be kind all of the time. Harry knew this and actively tried to make Draco believe it was his fault.

Draco had never been a strong person morally or mentally, and by now he had utterly snapped. He was terrified of his master and yet he worshiped him, he was his only source of warmth, food, shelter and even, Draco believed, love.

When he was around, Harry was cruel, noting every fault and showing no mercy. But there were long periods of time when he wasn't there, and Draco found these almost as bad. Not knowing when his master would be back, he had to do all of the same work, but there were instances when he ran out of rice, only for a day or two, but he had to decide what to do, go hungry or eat master's food.

Harry hated everything. Everything was dirty and vile and week. And that's what pissed him off the most, how week everyone was. Fuck it, he wanted to scream, fuck you all. He didn't understand why anyone would be week and honourable and pathetic when there was the choice of being powerful, in control and evil. It had started since the end of the war, it was sudden but consuming.

He couldn't explain. He didn't want to. He didn't want to look too closely at these feelings, it was the only truth Harry knew and he wasn't about to question it.

Currently, he was in London, tiring of "that whore" as Harry thought of Draco. He looked at the check in his hand and smirked. It was a check for five and a half thousand galleons from one Parvati Patil. It wasn't the money that excited him, he didn't need it. It was the blackmail. He had some serious dirt on a few people, and he either made them pay or, if they were high enough in the ministry, he just gave them orders. He had some serious people in his pocket.

Just then he heard the roar of the fire behind him and a voice saying "Harry?" It was Ganger. Harry didn't have anything on her but god did he want to. "Hello." He said, not looking around. "How are you?" She asked gently. "I haven't seen you in a while. I've been worried."

See? It was this kind of pathetic goody goody weakness that really-

"really worried. Talk to me, please." He turned around slowly and looked at her. She looked beautiful. She was tall and slender, her hair still bushy but bought back in a graceful bun.

And for a moment he really missed her. His best friend. He felt a string urge to run over there and hug her, but as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

"I'm fine." He said, his voice cold. She looked at him, concern still in her eyes. "Harry you know you can talk to me about anything right?"

Harry nodded jerkily.

"Well then, that's all I wanted to say I guess…" She said sadly. There was a long pause before; "I'll see you later I guess."

"good bye." He said, turning back around. She left with a sigh. "bitch." He muttered, but no matter how much hate he said, something just didn't feel right when it came to her and Ron.

It was much calmer at Malfoy manor. Narcissa was half-heartedly playing a waltz on the piano. But she gave up, her thoughts on her son. Ever since he had left that night she had been torturing herself. Should she have screamed at Potter to leave? To let them keep their son no matter what? But who was to say that he wouldn't have just killed them and taken Draco anyway? She wouldn't put it past him. And surly nothing was worse than Azkaban, especially when Harry would have given orders to make them as miserable as possible.

Potter hadn't given her a choice. Surly, with him, Draco at least had a chance. Maybe he would just have to learn humility and hard work. Maybe Harry would be a kind master, she could believe that, believe that Harry would be firm but kind, he was a Gryffindor, so surly that meant he wouldn't be too bad? It was Harry bloody Potter, a good man, the best.

She shook her head. She didn't really believe that. Before, she did, before the end of the war, perhaps even as late as when Harry first arrived, but now she just didn't.

She prayed to anyone that would listen to protect her son.

A few days later, Harry was again talking with Hermione, his most charming smile on. He hated having to be so nice, hated people, hated having to bow down to law and society and…

_Not for long, not for long_ a voice in his head whispered. He didn't really know what it meant, but he believed it.

"So, Hermione." He said, they had engaged in a few minutes of idle chitchat, and now, Harry was coming up to his reason for inviting her.

" I understand you're in a spot of trouble."

"trouble?" She asked. "mhmm. Theres a dispute, isn't there, about your…academic integrity?" He said causally.

"Oh that," she said. " well yes, I handed in a very similar paper as another student. But he already has one count of plagiarism against him, and I'm confidant I can prove my innocence."

"oh good." Harry said. "because I heard from the academic dean of your university that they didn't exactly well, trust you."

"What?" she exclaimed. Harry nodded sadly. "yes, he said that it would probably be in the other students favour…but," he said softly. "we do get on well together, I'm sure I could put a good word in for you."

She just gaped at him, for once in her life, speechless. Good, Harry thought savagely. He still had these strange…positive feelings for her and they _had_ to be stamped out.

"but the thing is," Harry said. "he…has rather expensive tastes. If you understand me." It took a moment, but she did.

"Harry, are you…are you blackmailing me?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so no sev/Draco/Harry threesome. Sad face. I will do one of those at some point, but not here, even though he is in the story. Hope you guys like and review! And how do you feel about Draco in women's under where? _

Hermione Granger burst through the doors of his office, looking like she was about to breathe fire. Severus Snape rolled his eyes, no doubt she was about to scream at him for using house elfs or something. For gods sake he was the academic dean, couldn't someone else deal with it? He far preferred this job to teaching brats at Hogwarts, but it still wasn't perfect.

"Sir, how could you?" She was shaking with anger. "how could you possibly believe that I, of all people would stoop to cheating, after all these years that I have slaved over my work, I ask you-"

"Ms. Ganger, what on earth are you talking about?" he demanded.

"you know what I am talking about! I am being accused of cheating off of another student –"

"yes, ms Granger." He snapped, slamming his book down. "and it will be dealt with via the normal channels-"

"oh don't give me that. You've already decided and don't try and tell me otherwise!" She spat.

"no I have not." He bellowed back. "what on earth makes you think such a ridiculous thing?"

"you've been bragging about it! I've been told-" she screamed.

" Really Ms. Ganger?" Severus sneered" I would have thought better of you, listening to idle gossip. I give you my word that this is being dealt with correctly."

"Sir," she said taking deep breath. "I assure you it was not that. Please, let me explain." Severus looked her in the eye for a moment before saying; "very well." And motioning for her to take a seat.

She told him everything.

Harry meanwhile was back with Draco. He was in an exceedingly good mood, believing that he finally had Hermione in his pocket. He therefore had deemed Draco to be "a good boy." And Draco was curled up on his lap, snoozing happily. This was another one of those things Harry felt a bit confused about.

He liked it when Draco was like this. He had a small smile on his face when he slept, and it made him look angelic.

It reminded Harry of a time when things were warm, and soft, and okay. He placed a chaste kiss on top of Draco's head before he felt the familiar rage unfurl inside of him. _Weekness_, he heard a voice hiss inside of him. He gave Malfoy a massive shove and he landed on the floor with a yelp.

But almost immediately after he said; "did you need anything master?"

Harry smirked. "go and get me a firewhisky." Draco did so, not looking at his masters face, as that was forbidden. Harry watched Draco as he walked. His milky skin in sharp contrast with his red shirt and dark jeans. He was so weak, so skinny…he reminded Harry of something, but Harry couldn't put his finger on it….

Draco stood in front of Harry, awaiting his next order.

"drink it." Harry said, his voice strangely deep, Draco nocked the drink back, not even contemplating doing anything else.

"Again." Harry ordered and again the sequence happened. Firewhisky was strong, especially the aged stuff that Harry had and Draco was already drunk.

"good boy." Harry said. Draco felt a hot spasm of pride run though him, he had been called a good boy! That so rarely happened and it was the second time today! He let out a little a giggle and his master snaked his hands over Draco's hips.

"something funny?" Harry inquired. "nnnnno Master." Draco replied, shaking his head solemnly.

"good, because if there was you would be in trouble." Harry informed him, bringing him closer and unbuckling his pet's belt.

_Veal_ Harry thought. That's what Draco reminded him off. Veal was a kind of calves would be separated from their mothers at birth to be kept in small, dark places, where they were unable to move. They would be kept on a diet of milk or baby food, for the short amount of time they were alive. It was a particularly cruel and inhumane thing to do, but it kept the meat so wonderfully tender…

"I dont wanna be in trouble master." Draco slurred. "then do everything I say, all right?" Harry said. "yes Master!" Draco relied, nodding exuberantly, Harry smirked up at him, the alcohol on Draco's breath a strange aphrodisiac. It was yet another reminder of Draco's helplessness, and Harry's control.

Harry slid Draco's jeans down and ran his fingers around the elastic of his boxers. Draco smiled faintly and when Harry ran his hands up his top he closed his eyes, knowing that Harry usually liked it like that. But this time he was ordered to open them.

Harry stopped for a moment, looking him up and down. "go and get the bottle." Draco moved to do so, but was suddenly splayed on the floor, his jeans still around his ankles making sudden movements like that impossible.

"For fucks sake!" Harry spat, angry not only at Draco's stupidity but his ability to ruin what had been to Harry a perfectly good evening. "get up." Draco did so as quickly as he could, which wasn't very quickly, considering the alcohol in his system "get those things off and do what I told you too." Draco hurried to do so, aware even in his drunken state that his master was in a sullen mood. He would need to be cheered up, his pride stroked, or he would turn extremely violent. Draco shivered, memories of blood and whips and broken bones close by.

"Here you go master." Draco said, holding out the bottle. Harry grabbed it from him and placed it on the side table. "get on my lap." Draco happily did so, he loved his masters lap, it was the only time he ever felt warm. And it was such a treat!

He was hoping to go back to cuddling, but Harry maneuvered him so that he was straddling his master, and he knew what that meant. He started gridding his hips in to Harry's lap and Harry pulled Draco's top off over his head before leaning back and letting Draco work.

Draco swayed his torso and rocked his hips, delighting in every moan his master made. He wanted nothing more than to please his master, it was like a burning inside of him. It was his reason for living and his only task in life.

Harry reached up and pinched Draco's nipples, twisting and pulling, forcing a delicious squeal out of him. Harry looked over his bitch and licked his lips hungrily. He uncorked the bottle of firewhisky and gave it to Draco, giving him permission to drink whenever he wanted to.

Something about seeing Draco giving Harry a lap dance with a bottle in his hand really satisfied Harry, further cementing in his mind the image of what a filthy little whore Draco was.

Draco took another gulp and some of the amber liquid dripped down his front, which Harry licked up hungrily. He bit and sucked and kissed and devoured Draco's chest. He moved up his neck and attacked there, before moving in to dominate Draco with a kiss. He spelled his own robes off and felt Draco's smooth flesh against his own hardened self. Without warning or preamble, Harry impaled Draco on his dick and grabbed him by the hips, roughly moving him up and down. Harry did not care for Draco's lack of erection, in fact Draco did not care for this, it did not occur to either of them that he should find it pleasurable.

Harry ran his hand though Draco's hair and snapped his head back, exposing more of his neck for Harry's amusement. Harry let out a groan and feasted on him, feeling Draco's hands hesitantly run up his sides. Draco did not always have permission to touch his master, but was sometimes expected to do so.

When he wasn't slapped away Draco devoted himself to pleasing his master, licking his ear, his neck, stroking him, doing anything and everything he could think of.

Harry came with a moan, his seed savagely shooting up Draco. He collapsed back and closed his eyes, Draco tentatively curling up to his chest.

_It had been really hot seeing him with that bottle…_Harry thought vaguely, _maybe I could get him addicted. It could be fun. Another good way to control him. _Harry contemplated this for a moment, but decided that it would take too long.

_Drugs would be easier._ A voice said inside him.

They would be, Harry thought, it wasn't like he had to worry about money either, or if he ever did he could just stop getting it for Draco. He smirked as he imagined Draco begging, on the floor crying for something Harry had in his pocket. Harry knew Draco would eventually promise ridiculous things, things that he couldn't live up to and then when he couldn't oh how Harry could punish him….

The next morning Harry was back in London. He had just come back from picking the drugs up where there was a knock at the door.

"Afternoon Mr. Potter, I'm sorry to just turn up, but I wondered if I could have a word?"

"Severus." Harry greeted happily. Severus was a powerful man, almost as powerfull as Harry was, and he was hoping to charm the pants off of him, figuratively and literally if he could. He felt that sex was a good way to cement someone's loyalty to him. And besides, he was an attractive man.

"I don't mind at all." Harry continued. "come in, would you like a drink?" He led Severus into the large living room and gestured for him to sit down.

"A gin and tonic, if you wouldn't mind." Severus answered casually. Harry turned from him and started to prepare the drinks.

There was a sudden roaring of a fire, someone had come in via the floo.

Harry didn't have time to turn around. Severus was on his feet, wand raised at Harry a spell on his lips. Harry was overcome with rage, he hurled a curse at Severus which sent him flying, but Harry was being attacked from the back too, he whirled around and saw- "Hermione?" Harry took a split second to register this, but it was a split second too long, soon Severus and Hermione were both attacking him, and he put up one hell of a fight, wounding Hermione's leg and causing Severus to gush blood, but ultimately it was Harry that lost consciousness, just after hearing a soft sob and; "it's for your own good Harry."


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys thanks for the reviews, and I'm really interested to hear what you think of this chapter so do let me know! _

Harry vaguely registered hushed voices, white sheets, the hum of magic. He tried to open his eyes but found he couldn't. He slipped into sleep again.

It was night when he next woke, but he wasn't alone. Someone was holding his hand and a deep voice whispered; "how's your leg feeling?" "all right, still twinging but they say it will get better." "hope so." A slight pause. "do you want me to grab you a "sandwich or something, I'm starving." It was then Harry recognised the voice.

"Ron?" Harry asked, fighting his eyes open. "Harry!" He and Hermione squealed. She threw herself into Harry's arms and he squeezed hard, over joyed to see them. "oh how are you feeling?" she asked, tears rising in her eyes.

"good…" he said, in fact nothing hurt at all. " what's going on?"

Ron and Hermione shared a look. "well, what's the last thing you remember?" Harry closed his eyes and thought, it was harder than it should be. "Hogwarts. Voldermort was there, I think… I think we won! Did we?" And Harrys smile was so excited, so hopeful and true that Hermione and Ron smiled with him.

"yeah." Ron said. "you nailed him."

"the only thing is.." Hermione looked at ron before continuing. "that was six months ago." Harry's smile faded. "have I been hear ever since?" he asked.

"no…you've been living with the rest of us." "then what-" Harry asked, looking agitated.

"Harry, I know this can't be easy for you, but…well just listen, okay?" Hermione asked, wincing as she shifted positions. Harry nodded slowly and looked to Ron. Even he looked a bit awkward.

"well, we think that just before you killed voldermort, he cursed you. It was an old, dark, complicated spell, but…well basically it was like he planted a seed in you. He…wanted someone to continue his work and since you were the only person more powerful than him, who was better?" Hermione asked slowly. But Harry couldn't help interjecting; "wait, seed? Continue his work? What do you mean?"

Hermione tried again. "he well, planted this "seed"…" She took a deap breath and plunged into it. "this seed of evil in you. The spell worked over time, but it was…turning you into him."

Harry gasped and felt the bottom of his stomach fall away "but…I mean, it's gone now right?"

"yes." Ron reassured him. "that's why you can't remember anything, they had to do such a thorough job of removing it that they removed memory as well."

"good." Harry said taking shaky breaths. "and… I didn't have time to do anything, right?" Harry asked hopfully.

"nothing…major." Hermione said, not looking at him. "I don't think at least."

Harry's face went white and he asked; "what did I do then?"

"well...blackmail." Hermione said. "and we found drugs in your apartment. We also…can safely assume that you have done a lot more than this, but…well, you didn't see fit to tell us." Harry looked helplessly up at them and croaked "im so sorry."

Hermione just hugged him tight again.

It was a lot to take in, that he had been on his way to becoming the next dark lord.

He was actually discharged the next day, but when Hermione showed him to his flat he wished he hadn't been. It was massive, expensive and ostentaous. It reeked of money and was exactly the sort of place a sane Harry would hate to live in. He collapsed into bed and as he did so, he slipped into a depression worse than he had ever known.

He had to deal with grief. He had to deal with guilt, and shame, and fear of what he had done. When Hermione had told him how he had turned on her, he wept.

He also found so many strange and scary things around his flat. Wads of money that he could only assume were the profit of illegal dealings, there were whips, illegal potions and animal furs that made Harry sick to his stomach.

Hermione and Ron came around as much as they could, along with Nevil and others who he had once victimised. He was actually really proud of how his friends forgave him, even Pavarti Patil dropped around, although that seemed like she had come to really see if Harry had changed…. She seemed suspicious for some reason.

It had been just over a week since Harry had been enlightened as it were and he was sulking in his far too big apartment when an owl from Gringotts came. It detailed what his accounts had been doing for the last six months, a lot of money was being moved around, to be honest Harry had no idea he had that much money….

There wasn't much of interest until Harry came across a line detailing a purchase of a house. Not in London though, but in the country, some old sounding place far away.

Feeling that this could not be good news at all, Harry swore and slowly got dressed (despite it being almost noon, he was only in boxers). He apperated just outside the gates of small but again impressive house. Harry let out a sigh of relief that it looked that nice actually, he had been afraid it would be some horrible crack den of slave labour children…

He walked in slowly, all was silent. It looked a well-cared for place, more Harry's sort of thing than back in London. He had a quick look around and was just about to head back, thinking that he didn't really want to go through even more evil junk and that the whips could wait, when he heard a soft thud from above.

He tensed and moved softly up the staircase, getting his wand out as he did so. He checked the first room, a bathroom and was about to go into the connecting bedroom when a small voice called; "master?" he hurried back into the hall and saw…a boy. He was looking at the ground and Harry couldn't see his face, but he was so small he couldn't be more than 14 or so. Harry licked his lips, praying that he wasn't the "master" but knowing that he was. "yes?" he said finally.

"it' s good to see you again master." The boy said. He was huddled by a wall and seemed to be shivering. "you two…" Harry said, "are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"no master." Came the reply. Cautiously, Harry approached him. He reached out and softly touched his back. He tensed but turned towards Harry, face still on the ground. Harry tentivly put his hand under his chin and raised it so that they were looking face to face. Immediately Harry noticed two things, firstly that it was Draco Malfoy. Secondly that there was utter terror in his eyes, it was proper fear, the kind that had witnessed true evil. It was as if he were looking at Harry and seeing the devil.

But also, looking over him now it was clear he wasn't a child, he was curled up, clinging to the wall, and he was _gaunt_, he clearly hadn't eaten in weeks, Harry's eyes went wide and he grabed Draco's bony wrist, ushering him down the stairs.

He sat Draco down on the couch and flew into the kitchen, trying desperately to find something for him. There were vegetables and fruit, but they were rotten, there was frozen food. But it would take time to heat up, and Harry didn't want Draco to wait a moment longer…

Finally Harry found some canned peaches and threw those in a bowl, before delivering them with a hurried "here, have these." Before going back to put some of the frozen stuff in the oven.

Meanwhile Draco waited nervously. Harry had not said "eat this" he had said "have this" and so Draco sat there, wanting it so badly, but he remembered all too well the last time he had seen his master. He had been called a good boy _twice_, he couldn't stand the idea of being bad the moment his master came home again.

But he was so hungry, and cold, and tried and frightened. He held the bowl in his hands and winced, it was getting a bit painful. He had hardly any meat on his fingers and so his bones were close to the surface, which make holding anything painful. His crying intensified and his body shock. His arms were aching now, it was a small bowl with hardly anything in it, but to Draco it felt so heavy and holding it up felt so hard. His crying by now was so loud that his master heard him in the kitchen and hurried in to see him again.

"what's wrong?" he asked, kneeling next to Draco. "don't you like it?" "I like it." Draco managed though his sobs. Firstly, he would never tell his master he didn't like something, that was not allowed and secondly he was certainly not going to say he didn't like food because that was just suicidal.

"okay…" Harry said, unsure of what was really going on. "eat it then?" Draco did need to be told once, but not twice. He devoured it in seconds. It was only a few slippery peach halves but they were perfection to Draco.

Harry sighed, and when Draco was done eating, he wrapped his arms around him. He was ice cold. Harry kissed the top of Draco's head softly and Draco smiled into Harry's shoulder, feeling that being fed and kissed so gently must be a good thing. But Harry sighed, feeling Draco's ribs under his fingers.

"I think you're going to have to go to hospital." Harry mumbled, as much as to himself as Draco.

"what?" Draco screeched. He began shaking violently again and "master please." He begged. He slipped on to the floor at Harry's feet and bowed his head, every bone of his spine popping up under his skin. " not that, please, I'll do anything master, I'll be so good, try so hard in future, I promise I'll never be bad again, but please, don't do that to me. One more chance please master." By now Draco was rocking back and forth, whole body shaking with tears.

"okay…" Harry said."okay baby, it's okay. You don't have too." he picked Draco back up and cuddled him again, so utterly confused as to what was going on. He was so bewilded, so desperate for Draco to be happy, to be safe, for everything to be okay again. He wanted to know what was going on and what to do…Harry himself was almost on the verge of tears.

" thank you so much master I'm going to be so good master I promise master never be bad again no never master sorry sorry sorry…"


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys, I know its been a few days since I updated, so I thought id give you a long one. As allways, enjoy and review! _

Draco was not okay. There was something really wrong with him, and it wasn't just the extreme malnutrition. There was something _else_. He seemed to live in a state of constant terror, assuaged only occasionally, but Harry couldn't seem to figure out what the trigger for this miracles was. If he could, he would do it all the time.

Harry paced nervously in the kitchen. He and Draco had just arrived back in his London flat, Draco was fast asleep in one of the bedrooms.

Harry just had no idea of what to do. He was so responsible, but so lost. Draco was so vulnerable and everything Harry did produced such a major reaction in him. Even the smallest word could send him into hysterics. He wanted to make everything okay, but how? He didn't even know where to begin.

"Hermione." He said suddenly, she would know what to do. Without a doubt. He immediately flued over to her, thinking, not for the first time, how lucky he was to have her.

It took some time to explain everything, for him to really express how bad Draco was. To her credit, Hermione was entirely non-judgemental, and when Harry had finished, she very softly suggested that they should both go back and see Draco.

But when they got to Harry's place, Draco was not asleep and was certainly not in bed. A small, selfish part of Harry was praying that he had run away, but the rational side very much doubted that. He shared a look with Hermione and they headed out of the room cautiously.

"Draco?" he called, and then a bit louder; "Draco!"

Draco was there, he could hear his master, but he didn't know how to get to him. This place was so huge, and Draco just couldn't remember how to get back. Indecision pinned Draco to the spot, he didn't dare move in the wrong direction.

His heart was pounding, his blood was rushing though his ears, he couldn't think, he just had to get to his master. But what to do? There were two doors in front of him and one on the wall opposite, so many choices, so many opportunities to make the wrong one.

Thoughts were crashing around inside him, he wasn't even certain that he was allowed to be in this room and- "Draco, there you are." His master said, having just immerged from one of the doors.

And suddenly everything was okay, well almost okay. He was pretty sure that he would get punished, but that mattered little to Draco.

He just wanted to be good.

"I'm Sorry master." Draco told his feet, expecting a beating. "that's okay…. listen, this is Hermione…do you remember her?"

Draco didn't look at her face, he wasn't allowed to with his master and he assumed he wasn't allowed to with her either. She had nice, strappy sandals on though.

"I remember the name master, I think…" Draco closed his eyes to concentrate. "something…something about…mud, master?" Harry blushed furiously and looked apologetically at Hermione. She just shrugged, the poor guy clearly didn't know what he was saying. And it probably _was_ his overriding memory of her…

"Hello Draco." Hermione said, taking a step or two closer. Draco wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything. This woman, Hermione, was the first person that he had met since he came to his master, and he couldn't really remember much before that. None of that mattered; it was only his master that really mattered. And his master hadn't told him how to address her, hadn't even given him permission to do so.

So he didn't.

"Draco," she starting again softly "I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?" There was another slight pause and then; "Maybe we should sit down somewhere. Harry-" "right." Harry said, "erm. Let's go through here yeah?" He lead them in to back into the sitting room. Draco's eyes widened, he hadn't been in to this room yet. It was a huge room, two of the walls were completely glass, looking down on London beneath. It let the sun in beautifully , which reflected off of the glass coffee table and book shelf.

They sat down on a crescent shaped, lemon yellow couch. It was lovely and plush with silver cushions. The room was exceptionally beautiful, but all Draco could think about was how hard it would be to clean.

"So Draco," Hermione said again. "I need to ask you some questions." She cleared her throat and said; "so, why don't you want to go to the hospital?"

After a long and unhappy pause Hermione finally said; "Harry, perhaps you could give Draco permission to talk to me." Harry rubbed Draco's arm softly and said; "Right, yes, um, you can answer her questions."

"I don't want master to hate me." Draco said immediately.

"hate you? Why would he hate you?"

"Because master said that only bad people went there. Master said that when he had no more use for me that's where I would go so he didn't have to look at me anymore. He said they would do terrible things to me and that I would never be allowed to see him again, but that he would take care of me and protect me from them. Until I wasn't worth it anymore." Draco said, clearly unhappy with the subject. In fact he looked like he might cry.

Harry winced and felt slightly sick, but thankfully Hermione seemed to be able to stay calm.

"okay, perhaps your master can talk to you about that a bit later. Now, how did you…come to your master?"

"Master saved me." Draco said, suddenly wonderfully happy again. "Master came to my home one night and took me from my family, saying that he would keep me and them out of Azkaban in return. And I'm so grateful." Harry and Hermione shared a look over Draco's head.

"and…your parents, did they want you to go? Did they…trust him?" She asked delicately.

"not at first. But then he told them how terrible it would be in jail, and that he could make it worse. Then they all agreed that I was so much better off with Master."

Okay, scrap feeling slightly sick, Harry now felt highly nauseous.

Hermione took a deep breath. "all right. Thank you Draco, just a few more questions. What were your rules and duties when you lived in your other house with master?"

"oh there were a lot of them, firstly-"

"actually" Hermione said. "here, why don't you write them down, while your master and I have a chat in the next room. Just write down as much as you can about your rules and duties." She placed parchment quill and ink in front of him and followed Harry back into the library.

"fucking hell." Was the first thing he said. "well, at least we know a bit about him now." She said, trying to be positive. "the hospital thing explains a lot." Harry looked questioningly at her and she said, almost apologetically; "you probably wanted to scare him out of running away. I bet you said something similar about the government too."

Harry sank into a chair, tears pricking at the back of his eyes. Hermione sat down across from him.

"Harry…" she said gently. "have you thought about what you're going to do with him?" he just laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"there's an excellent, private mental health facility close by-"

"are you saying I should put him away?" he demanded. "harry, you can't seriously tell me you think he's sane. He has terrible Stockholm syndrome at the very least, probably PTSD and god know what else-"  
>"yeah and I have them to him. Its completely my fault and now you're saying I should just throw him in some loony bin?" Harry asked, as if she were the crazy one.<p>

"no-" Hermione tried again.

"Hermione I can't believe your saying this too me." Harry couldn't help but feel somehow betrayed at what she was saying. "oh just listen to me will you, he needs serious physiatrist help. And you're not in any position to give that to him."

"Hermione I am not abandoning him. Can you imagine what his reaction would be if I said I was going to put him in a mental hospital? No, just no." how could she even think he would do that?

And with that Harry stormed out, going to sit by Draco again. "I finished master." He said softly, he handed Harry the two pieces of parchment.

Duties;

Cook all meals for master

Clean

be ready and willing for to be serviced at any time

obey any other orders

rules

no swearing

no questions

no crying, ever

no eating master's food

no eating at all unless master allows it

no going outside, even if there's a fire.

No sitting down unless ordered too.

No looking master in the face

No touching anything unless it's to clean it, or to hand it to master

always address master correctly

always have masters breakfast ready before master gets up.

Always thank master after punishments or feeding.

Don't speak unless spoken too.

Harry just couldn't believe what he was reading. He sighed and Draco's slight smile fell from his lips, had he missed something? But then Harry pulled him in to a hug, only slightly awkward for their sitting down.

"did I really tell you to stay if there was a fire?" Harry asked sadly.

"yes master." Draco said, happy to be in his arms. "well, sort of.." and he launched into the story of how that rule had come to be.

_It was a few days since Draco had come to be Harry's slave, and he was cooking Harry's dinner. Harry himself was upstairs. Draco stirred the pot nervously, he wasn't god at cooking, he had never had to do it until he came here. He shivered and touched the bruise on his cheek. Master hadn't liked any of his meals so far, and he had been told to improve, or else. Deciding that the pasta was done, he got a tea towel to pick the pot up with. But there must have been a slight hole in the fabric, because draco felt the hot metal on his skin and he jumped, dropping the towel accidently. _

_It caught on the stove and shot up in flames, catching the floor and the wood of the counters. Fire was everywhere, roaring around him, the sudden heat was terrifying and the hissing of the flames screamed at him. So he ran, ran out the nearest door and into the garden. _

_Harry heard the door slam and raced down stairs, he saw the fire and effortlessly contained it, extinguishing the flames everywhere but on the stove. He wanted to use that later. _

_Draco meanwhile, stood in the garden, praying that firemen would arrive, or that he had the courage to run away, but the house was so isolated, he knew he didn't stand a chance. Tears filled his eyes, he didn't know what to do- _

_And then master came out of the house, marching towards him. He grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him inside, taking him back to the kitchen. To Draco's amazement, the fire was now utterly contained on the stove, not igniting anything else, there wasn't even damage. _

"_I'm sorry mast-" But Harry struck him, hard across the face. Draco flinched, but made no sound, he was used to this by now, and the worst was yet to come, he knew that. _

_Harry threw him into the wall and drew his wand, the cruico curse falling easily from his lips. But he wasn't stopping there, he pulled Draco up and threw him on the table. _

_He got a steak knife from the draw and bought it over to Draco before saying; "now, I need to teach you a lesson. Don't go outside, ever. You see I thought I had already taught you this one, but I guess it didn't get into your worthless little head. So I'll teach you again. Isn't that nice of me?" _

"_Yes master." Draco sobbed. _

_Harry put the knife to Draco's arm and thinly carved off the top few layers of his skin, leaving it pink and raw, and bleeding. Draco was far too gone to stop his sobs, but he did his best to keep from shaking, that would only anger master more. _

_When he had lost most of his skin on his right arm Harry picked him up, almost gently and set him on his feet next to the stove. "put your arm in the flames." He ordered. _

_Draco shot him one terrified look, wishing that he dared to run away, to disobey- _

"_do it Draco. Or I'll be cross with you. And you dont want that, do you?"_

"_no master." And Draco slowly reached out his arm, and put the whole thing in the flames. He couldn't stop the screams that ripped through his throat…._


	6. Chapter 6

So I didn't get many reviews, which made me sad, so that's why I didn't update for a while….

The interesting thing about this story, is I think, that there is a seriously evil, cruel and dark Harry. But there's also an honourable, kind, amazing Gryfendoor, and personally, I think I pull of having both of them at the same time.

Also, please don't assume you know where this is going.

But yeah please do review and thank you SO SO MUCH to whom ever gave me really long helpful ones. I really take what you say into account and changed pretty much the entire end of the story because of someone just called A () Well, keep reviewing A. and the rest of you too please.

That first day, was a long, long day for both Harry and Draco.

Hermione and Harry had agreed to keep Draco's routine basically the same as before, without the punishment of course.

Harry was hesitant about this to say the least, but he did agree with Hermione when she said that the routine did give Draco the illusion of some security and to just rip it all away from him wouldn't be good. It had to be slower than that, they had to build a normal life up for him brick by brick. If his world was suddenly ripped apart, who knew what he would do.

So that night Draco cooked for Harry, a meal which Harry declared to be "excellent". Draco positively glowed with pride.

But Harry did change one thing that first night.

"all right, I'm tired, shall we get some sleep?" he asked Draco. He wasn't really looking for an answer, but he was instead trying to sound as gentle as possible. Draco just nodded happily and followed his master.

"umm…I'm going to take a quick shower, okay? There's another bathroom across the hall you can use, and just sleep in one of my tops okay?"

"yes master." Draco said, looking surprisingly happy.

They went their separate ways and Harry indulged for a while in a soothing shower. God it was so strange to think that just this morning he hadn't even known about Draco, it seemed a lifetime away.

He stepped out of the shower and threw his pyjama's on, looking forward to the blissful ignorance that was sleep.

But when he steped in to his bedroom again, he saw- "Draco?" Draco was curled up on the floor, his arms under his head and wearing nothing but one of Harry's long T-shirts.

"yes master?" Draco asked, as if this were totally normal. With a heavy heart Harry realised that it probably was.

"do you normally sleep down there?" "Yes master." Draco answered, unsure why his master was asking him such seemingly obvious questions.

Harry briefly remembered that he had wanted Draco to settle down before he changed anything, but fuck that, Draco was _not_ sleeping on the floor.

"well, from now on you can sleep in the bed." He announced. Draco smiled, again that huge, sweet amazing smile and jumped into the bed, saying "thank you, thank you, thank you master!"

Harry couldn't help but grin too, it an infectious smile, and he crawled in to bed next to Draco. They fell asleep holding hands.

The next morning Harry woke to an empty bed, the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen. He felt an immediate sense of satisfaction, followed by a sicking sense of guilt when he remembered exactly who was making him breakfast.

He shot out of bed and came into the kitchen, just as Draco was slipping it all into a plate.

"That smells wonderful." Harry said. "oh! Master, t-t-thank you." Draco blushed a violent shade of scarlet, but he kept smiling so Harry decided he wasn't upset.

"how long have you been awake?" He asked, leaning against the granite counter, wanting dearly to help Draco, but too afraid to upset him.

" A few hours master." Draco said as he finished off Harry's meal with a few slices of toast. "really?" Harry said, "what have you been doing?"

"Just what I always do master." Draco said as he sat Harry's meal down on the table, along with a glass of orange juice. "I showered, and used some cosmetic spells to look good for you, cleaned the bathroom a little and I started cooking master."

The way utterly factual way that Draco said all of that, as if it were so totally logical and natural utterly depressed Harry and he again felt a mammoth pang of regret and sorrow.

"you always do that? Why didn't you write it down under rules/duties yesterday?"

Draco immediately slumped his shoulders and hung his head. "I'm sorry master, I didn't think I was supposed to. I've always considered those more of a daily routine than rules or duties. I'm sorry master." He felt the wave of disappointment and humiliation that came whenever he did anything wrong, and braced himself for a punishment.

"it's okay." Harry said immediately. "listen come and sit down with me." He sadly wondered how many other "daily routines" he had yet to find out about.

They sat down at a small but elegant wooden table, which held Harry's food and a centre piece of red roses.

The first thing he did was share his meal with Draco, who looked amazed, but slowly took a piece of toast. Harry bit his lip, Draco would need four or five small meals a day for a long time.

He had gone without food for so long that his stomach would have actually shrunk, and he wouldn't be able to eat anything large for a while. A piece of toast would be a full belly for him.

"Draco," he said when the other man had finished eating. " I suppose you find it strange that I've been asking so many question recently?"

" a little master…" Draco wasn't sure if it was a good idea to admit to curiosity, but he couldn't lie either.

"well I'm going to explain it to you, okay?" Harry asked, again rhetorically. "you see, when I…found you, I was under a curse." Harry licked his lips nervously and looked down at the elegant mahogany table; he wasn't sure just how much Draco was ready to hear.

"it was lifted from me a few weeks ago, but I can't remember anything that happened when I was under it. So I'll need your help in remembering. I've also had a few…judgment alterations, so some of your rules are going to be changed."

"okay master." Draco said, he did not question his master and so needed no more explanation. In fact he really needed no explanation at all, trusting his master explicitly to do as he pleased.

"okay…" Harry said, surprised that Draco had expected it so easily. Maybe he had been wrong to keep going with the rules. He frowned, god he was confused.

"so…um, I think we should write down your new rules, to er be clear and stuff." He summoned parchment and quill and lay them down on the table. Draco just watched him waiting compliantly for new orders.

"first, you can ask any questions you like, whenever you like." He wrote that down.

"you can go outside whenever you want. Especially if you're in danger. I'll show you around the rest of the building at some point. Next, you have to tell me if your hurt or sick, okay? Or if you need something. As I said last night you're also allowed to sleep in the bed. And you have to eat regularly." Harry took a breath and looked up from the parchment, to see tears in Draco's eyes.

"Draco?" He asked, concerned and confused. "yes master?" Draco replied, his voice terribly unsteady. "what's wrong?" "I-I'm just a little overwhelmed master." His said, his voice cracking. "oh" Harry said stupidly. "may I clear the dishes master? Please." He said, clearly just wanting to leave the room.

"right. Yeah." Harry said. Draco dashed out.

What on earth? Draco asked himself, what bazar rules. And being allowed to ask questions? That was utter madness! he couldn't do that. And he was meant to go outside? Outside, without master? That was inconceivable to Draco. His world was contained in walls and rooms where Master was God.

Outside was not a safe place. Outside lacked master. Draco did not want to go outside.

Being allowed to sleep in a bed was nice though; master used to give it to him as a treat on rare, rare occasions if he had been really good, and now it was just always his! He made silent promise to master that he would do everything he could to deserve such an honour…

He was so glad he got away before master could tell he was crying. Master hated crying. Draco shivered as he remembered one of the times he had been taught that lesson.

_Harry had had a really bad day and Draco was getting the brunt of it. These were the times that scared Draco the most, because they weren't exactly his fault, he never knew when they were coming and couldn't understand how to make them stop. Harry smashed Draco into the wall, thrusting a knee in to his stomach. He was then thrown in to a table, shattering the lamp on top of it. Draco landed in the glass shards, splayed across the floor. He couldn't help the sobs that racked his body, his face red and wet. Harry marched over to Draco and screamed at him to stop, finally picking his foot up and placing it on Draco's windpipe, forcefully stopping the hated sound. Harry closed his eyes in bliss and pressed down just a little harder. _

"_you should be fucked, and not heard." He said, before finally removing the pressure _

Draco snapped back to reality with a jolt, he had his dishes to do.

Harry meanwhile sat sadly at the breakfast table. He really didn't understand Draco, and at the moment he really doubted he could help him if he didn't understand him.

He would have to, he told himself sternly. He would just have to.

By the fourth day they had settled in quiet well. Draco was still delusional and harry was still killing himself with guilt. But they were alright.

Draco was just severing Harry his dinner, a personal pizza with a woldorf salad, and he placed his drinks in front of him. Harry had three drinks tis evening, a beer, red wine and some sparkling water. Draco knew he enjoyed all of them and wasn't sure what he would want tonight. So he got all of them.

"why so many drinks?" harry asked " I wasn't sure what you would want master." Draco explained

"why didn't you just ask? You're allowed to remember, it's in the rules…" Harry said gently. He didn't mean to scold, just to remind.

But Draco didn't take it that way, he flinched and the colour rose in his cheeks. "S-sorry master." "that's okay, but you do remember, right?" "yes master I do, I promise" he sniffed, his hands were shaking slightly and he was cursing himself for not asking.

"are you alright?" he asked reaching out and touching his cheek. "I'm fine master." Draco squealed, he could feel himself starting to cry, his face was red and his voice shaky. Again he fought the tears back with everything he could just until he was alone…

"no, you're not, tell me " harry whispered, and with that simple utterance, Draco felt his world crumble around him. He had indeed lied to his master, he wasn't fine, and his master had just corrected him, meaning he knew he was lying.

Meaning he was probably about be flayed to within an inch of his life.

He let out a chocked sob, and really knew he was in for a punishment. He should know better than to cry by now, he scolded himself. He whimpered and hated himself for it, hated himself for not being able to keep it all in, he was just making his punishment worse and worse but the gasps and cries just kept coming out.

He was shaking terribly now and Harry reached out to him, unsure of what else to do. But that only made it worse because Draco screamed and shot back. His mind was racing, filled to the brim with terror, and he was properly sobbing now, huge gasped that racked his whole body and reverberated around the room.

"draco…" Harry said, but Draco couldn't hear him over the his sobs and the memory of the past, because that and the fear were the only things that existed for him.

He mind was screaming at him to run, to move to get the fuck out, so he did the only thing that made sense to him; he flung himself under the table in a pathetic attempt to defend himself.

Harry stood above it for a moment, not understanding anything. Draco's screams rang in his ears and all he knew was that he was in unbelievable fear and pain. But for the life of him Harry couldn't figure out why. Slowly, Harry dropped to his knees and crawled under the table. He took Draco in his arms, unsure of what else to do. Draco let out a long, high pitched whine but showed no other signs that he had registered Harry's presence.

Draco had no idea where he was in space or time, he just knew the pain of the past and could imagine what he would soon be subjected too. He felt again the pressure of the boot on his neck, could hear Harry ordering him to shut up, the crack of a whip, the slice of a knife. There was just too fucking much in his head, he couldn't even see straight, couldn't think or feel, just existed on fear alone.

Harry rocked him gently, and whispered things in his ear, about how it would be okay, about how he was safe and sound and how harry would never hurt him again. Soon Harry's face was wet with tears as well, although it couldn't be heard over Draco's piercing shrieks.

It took hours for these shrieks to stop, until he was horse and literally couldn't anymore. He passed out in Harrys arms soon after.

Harry let out one long sob when he realised that he was finally unconscious, pulling their bodies tightly together. Slowly, he carried Draco out from under the table and placed him gently in the bed, hoping he would be comfortable there. He kissed his forehead and placed a gentle charm on him, ensuring he would rest well for at least a few hours. They both needed a rest.

When Draco woke up his master was sitting on a chair next to him, holding his hand, as if he were in a hospital bed. There was a plate of food on his lap and an empty dish on the bedside table.

"hey" Harry said softly, as if he were talking to a scared animal.

Draco just looked at him with wide eyes. "I'd like to eat something, okay baby?" Harry said, putting the plat in front of Draco. Draco nodded and picked up the fork- and then stared at the plate unhappily. He sat motionless like that for a moment before Harry asked what was wrong.

"I don't want to do it wrong master" Draco finally said. He looked fearfully at the plate and saw so many ways he could go wrong again. What if master didn't like what he ate? Or how he ate it?

He worse such an expression of helpless confusion that Harry sighed. They had never had this problem before. He felt his heart break a little as he realised that whatever had caused Draco's earlier break down had also caused a possibly permanent regression in terms of his…mental state. A major step backwards.

"you won't, just try okay?" but that didn't seem to encourage Draco, his bottom lip trembled and Harry couldn't bear the thought of his crying again, for both of their sanities.

He sat on the bed next to Draco and gently removed the fork from his hand. He lovingly spoon fed him, dejected and beaten by the day.


	7. Chapter 7

So yeah, reviews are awesome stuff they make me happy and so I updated, see how this works? Good. Review, please. To Mary; i re-read a review you put on my first chapter, and I hope that your still reading, and if so you don't think harry is OOC.

To SilverMoonMidnightSky83: well then I don't understand why your reading this...

Aquarinus: your so cool, you keep reviewing, which makes me so happy!

I hope you guys like this chapter I'm very happy with it.

Harry didn't get a wink of sleep that night. Draco slept better, his head on his master's chest.

Harry cuddled him close, feeling a fierce need to protect him from anything ever hurting him again. He looked down at the sleeping man and saw an angel. Broken and spoilt by him but still so precious. He had always admired Draco's body, since their fifth year when he dropped something in potions class and bent down to pick it up… his arse was blessed by god himself.

Even now when he was still so skinny Harry was in awe of his beauty.

He felt so much for Draco. Pity, and awe, and regret…but there was also hope, and he clung on to that. He smiled to his self, remembering the arrogant prat that attended Hogwarts with him, he never thought he would ever want that prat back… but he did.

The next morning went exactly like all the other mornings; Harry's delicious breakfast was laid out on the table and the place was spotless.

But Draco wasn't any better; he was jumpy and fearful, his mind scrambling like a rat in a cage. He couldn't understand why he hadn't been punished. And so he just waited for it to come, he couldn't do anything about it, but in a way he wished that it would just happen. So he could get it over with. So he could try and be a good boy again. So master wasn't mad at him…

"Draco." Harry said. "why don't you try and relax? Have some fun maybe?" he suggested tentatively. "you want to have fun with me master?" "yeah…" Harry said, and then Draco promptly left the room. Harry had no idea what was going on, but then he hadn't really for a while now… he sat down to his breakfast and slowly started on his bacon.

Harry's jaw dropped as Draco walked back into the room. He was…he… Harry couldn't think, he could just see. Draco was wearing nothing but a blood red corset with black stocking and these high heels that just made his legs look so long…. And his lips, they were now ruby red like they were begging to be kissed. "I think this is what you meant by fun… is this all right master?" Draco asked shyly. Harry still couldn't form words so he just nodded, not able to take his eyes off of the beauty that was now approaching him.

Draco's hips swayed as he walked and when he stopped in front of his master, Harry just gaped at him. But Draco's expression was dissolving from coy hope to confusion and Harry knew he had to pull himself together, to try and make sure Draco was okay…

"er, you um…yes. You…look good" Harry said, a major understatement.

"so…you think you I'm pretty master?" Draco asked, eyes full of hope. " I do!" Harry said quickly. "yes...yes I think, I think that you're just…so amazingly beautiful." Draco blushed and bit his lip. His smile lit up his face and he was clearly so glad to be called beautiful by Harry…

"Draco…Draco, did we used to have sex?" Harry asked, his voice tight. "yes Master." Draco answered huskily. Harry paused, looking at him, and losing his mind with want. "do you want to again?" "yes master."

Harry reached out and slowly rubbed Draco's sides, he looked in to his eyes and for a moment contemplated what he was doing. But he couldn't reject Draco, that might be disastrous, he might breakdown again, this clearly meant something major to Draco…and he was offering himself so sweetly… Draco softly rocked his hips in to Harry's and all logical thought for Harry ended.

He pulled Draco in to a kiss, fighting his urge to just fucking _take_ Draco then and there. He kept it as soft and sweet as he could, and a moan escaped from Draco, egging Harry on even more.

He wrapped his arms around Draco completely, crushing their bodies together. Draco gasped and ran his hands though Harry's hair kissing him back fully and utterly. Harry lavished his neck with kisses, sucking his throat and his ear and his lips, hands still stroking his amazing body.

Draco, who had offered himself to Harry was now slightly confused. There was this strange feeling in his groin, a kind of tingling heat that- and suddenly Harry pulled apart from Draco, so that he could pull his own shirt off. And Draco had an opportunity to look down at himself, his penis was hard, like his Master's got sometimes . It had slipped out of his thong and was pointing directly at his master, and Draco couldn't remember this ever happening before, but it felt _so good_.

And then he was kissing Harry again, who was fiddling with his corset, which soon fell to the floor. His masters lip immediately came down to his nipple and he sucked and Draco cried out a moan, his knees folding slightly in pleasure.

Harry couldn't get enough of Draco's moans, of hearing that Draco was enjoying this as much as he was… he picked Draco up bridal style and carried him through to the bedroom, kissing every inch of bare skin on the way.

Draco's panties and stockings were discarded on the floor and Harry didn't have the patience to remove his own clothes so he just vanished them. They writhed together, naked on the bed and panting like animals. Harry flipped Draco on top of him and grabbed the globes of his perfect arse, encouraging Draco to thrust their erections together. He looked up at Draco, who had such a breath taking look of ecstasy on his face….Draco ran his hands over Harry's chest and tweaked his nipple, and that was it for Harry, he came, his ropes of seaman coating his body. Draco only took a few more stokes before he came as well, with a scream, of pleasure this time. His collapsed on top of Harry, utterly exhausted. His closed his eyes in rapture and when he opened them, he was face to face with his master.

His eyes went wide for a moment, he wasn't allowed to look- but his master had a huge smile plastered over his face and Draco mimicked him, enthralled by his eyes, his face, his expression… neither could stopped looking at the other. Draco's red lipstick was smeared all over his face and Harry was just so happy. Because Draco was happy, because Harry finally felt like he had done something right, because he felt sooo good. But most especially because Draco did too.

Harry finally gave him one long, slow kiss and cleaned them with a quick spell. Draco relaxed in his master's arms, still smiling. They lay like that together, in perfect peace.

"Draco?" Harry asked, sometime later. "where did you get those clothes?" "out of the closet master." Draco said, yawning. "what closet?" "the one in the music room master. I hope that's okay-" he said, suddenly worried. "yes!" Harry said immediately, not wanting to ruin the good mood. He nuzzled Draco's neck before asking him to show him the cupboard.

They rose and Harry lovingly draped the blanket around Draco before following him in to a sweet little room with sky blue walls and a delicately carve fire place. There was a piano, a harp and a violin by the window, along with a music stand and a table willed with sheet music.

Draco walked over to the far wall and tapped it. The wall swung open to reveal even more garments, lace and velvet and silk… but something glinted at the back and Harry moved forward to examine it.

"what's this?" he asked Draco. He picked the thing up and saw that it was a hook, two hooks actually connected by a long wire.

" I don't know what you call it master." Draco said casually. " you use it when I've been bad." Harry hated to think what that meant, but he had to ask. "how?"

"the wire attaches to the celling master." He took it from Harry and held it by a small ring in the middle of the cord "and then one took is attached to my collar. The other…goes into my anus. And then I'm suspended in the air like that." Harry felt all the blood drain from his face in horror, but Draco just calmly put it back.

"Draco…could you go please? And don't come in again until I say? Please?" Harry said softly. Draco nodded happily, oblivious to his distress.

When he heard the door close after Draco, harry sank to his knees, shaking. What had he been thinking? For some reason it hadn't crossed Harry's mind that he might have- but he didn't want to think the word. He tried to force it back, but he couldn't, it burst into his mind with all of it's cruelty.

Rape.

He had raped Draco. Harry truly felt like he hadn't done so that time, but in the past he so clearly had. And what sick toys had he used? Harry felt his stomach lurch, he couldn't even begin to compared the pain he must have inflicted on Draco. His shaking became worse as it really hit him. Phrases like ; "sex slave" "human trafficking" "rapist" and "monster" flew though his mind. He felt like he was being physically ripped apart as his guilt consumed him.

He stuffed his fist in his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut, he just couldn't believe, couldn't deal with… RAPIST his mind screamed, over and over again.

Draco meanwhile, was blissfully making the bed again. Neither of them really knew it, really understood it, but what had happened that morning was perhaps the best thing that could have possibly happened for Draco.

Firstly, because it had made him feel just a little mischievous, sneaky even. It felt, to Draco as if he had avoided punishment. Like he had got around it somehow. He felt clever, and he didn't even know it, but that in turn made him feel slightly, just a little, powerful.

Secondly, because he had looked his master in the face, right in the eyes. And he hadn't been scared. He had been… happy, just happy. And he hadn't been like that for ages.

When Harry immerged from the music room, as Draco called it, his eyes were dead and his cheeks puffy. Draco opened his mouth to ask- but then changed his mind. But he master had seen; "what is it?" he asked, a little harshly, he didn't know how much more he could deal with today and it wasn't even noon. Draco opened his mouth to reply, but fund he had no idea what to say, and just moved his lips soundlessly. "what is it baby?" Harry asked with the same intensity as before. Draco tensed and backed away, he didn't know what mood his master was in, and so didn't know how to behave.

"Draco…" and now it was almost a plea. "I just wanted to ask if you were okay master." Draco blurted out. Harry smiled, albeit sadly, and Draco knew it was okay. "I'm fine baby, thanks for asking." But Harry sighed and sat on the edge of their bed. It was a very nice bed, with purple and gold covers and a dark frame.

And then something on the bed side table caught his eye. It was a small, red box. It had some Chinese looking carvings on it, but apart from that, it didn't seem too special. "look." He said, going and picking it up. "I know you don't always feel good about asking me questions, so, if you ever, you know feel like you need to, you can write it down and put it in here okay? Would that make you feel better?"

Draco looked at it for a moment and nodded. Yes, actually that would make it a hell of a lot easier.

Harry smiled and put it back on the night stand, retrieving some parchment and a quill to put next to it. "So, "Harry said, "you can say anything in here, okay? You can to my face as well, any time at all, but if you think this would be easier that's okay" He licked his lips, aware he was rambling. He took Draco's hand and kissed it gently. "you can ask for favours, or changes to rules or anything okay? And I'll charm it so it glows every time you put a question in, just so I know. "

Draco nodded and smiled slightly.

To Harry's happy surprise, he didn't have to wait long before the box was glowing. He grinned at the question, it reminded him so much of the old Draco, always concerned with his looks…

_Master, did you really think I was beautiful while we were having sex?_

Harry wondered into the hall, where Draco was rearranging a vase full of flowers. He hugged him from behind and kissed his head, feeling over joyed that Draco was becoming comfortable with him.

"Yes baby," he said "I do think you're beautiful. I think you're beautiful when we have sex, and when we go to sleep together, and when you smile and basically, I think you are stunningly beautiful all the time. " Draco had no idea what to say. He was so happy, words just wouldn't come out, so, in a fit of almost hysterical happiness he turned around and flung his arms around his masters neck, grinning from ear to ear.

"in fact you know what you are? You are my phoenix. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing phoenix."

A phoenix, because Draco was going to rise from these ashes, Harry knew he was. He hugged tighter, never wanting to let go.

Review please!


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi all, firstly thanks for all the reviews! Made me SO HAPPY. Please send more more more! If you don't, this could always be the last chapter, and we don't want that…_

_In saying that this isn't THE END, so don't get too upset. If you review enough there will be more chapters :P _

_Well, yeah so read on Mcduff, hope you enjoy and review! _

_Massacrerose__: Thanks, really glad you enjoy, and to __Hollita__ and A: Thank you for being amazing and loyal and wonderfull! _

_As ever, you rock __Aquarinus__!_

Harry got used to the extreme changes in Draco. He continued to have melt downs and continued amaze Harry with seemingly random bouts of happiness.

Over the next few weeks Hermione had become more used to Draco as well. She visited often, and although she was still worried about what would happen to her friend when Draco didn't recover (because she didn't believe he ever would), she respected his choice.

When there was a nock at the door, Harry just assumed it was either her or Ron. But it wasn't. as soon he opened the door he was slammed against the opposite wall, a hand on his wind pipe. "what the fuck have you done with my godson?" A furious Severus Snape asked. Harry immediately stopped fighting, whatever hellish pain the man was about to inflict on him he knew he deserved it. "answer me!" Severus demanded. "nothing recently." Harry said. " I mean, I, well, you know I was under that curse and-"

"where is he?" Severus demanded. " I need to speak with him."

"of course, but let me talk to him first." Harry said. "he…isn't having a great day." Severus glared at him, but let go. "be quick potter"

Draco was on his knees in the dining hall, a room that was never used but Draco still felt like he had to polish the floor every week. "Draco, there's someone here to see you." Harry said softly. Draco looked up, confused, why would someone come to see him? He didn't know anyone…

"it's Severus Snape, do you remember him?" Draco thought hard. He shook his head. Harry sighed.

"Well, he's your family, and he wants to see you okay? So why don't you go through to the living room and I'll show him though." Draco stood up and Harry was about to go back into the hall when Draco spoke; "actually master, could we go to the music room please? I think… I think he likes to play the piano. I think we used to play together. "

"okay, the music room it is." Harry promptly agreed.

It didn't take Severus long to assess Draco's mental state. He sighed as he looked in to those blue eyes.

"can I ask you something? I think it's something I should know… but I don't." Draco said.

"ask away." Severus said as gently as he could. "how old am i?" Draco asked. "you don't know?" Severus replied, stunned. "I feel…out of time. Nothing connects anymore…there's now, when I'm in this house. I think I've been good. Master is always here. And it's sunny, I like that…and then there was before, when I was in a different house. That was colder, I was very bad then…or master was very angry, I can't understand which. And I think there might have been a time even before that… but I can't remember it very well. "

" I see… well, there was a time before that. I knew you then. You're 17 by the way, your birthday is December the first." Severus informed him softly. " you lived with your parents then, and you attended Hogwarts."

"okay." Draco said, before changing the subject. It seemed that he had no interest in the past.

There was something about Draco that was wholly innocent and unassuming. He had a lightness about him that was extraordinary. It got to Severus and he swept him into an embrace, the first time he had ever hugged someone of his own free will. Draco hugged back happily.

Severus played the piano for him, and he was phenomenal, as Draco knew he would be. "you played once, do you remember? You were exquisite." Draco blushed scarlet, still so unused to compliments.

Severus didn't stay long that day; he had only really come to scream at Harry. He had assumed that he would have dumped Draco in a mental institution. Severus was exceedingly glad Harry had done so, even though he thought it was idiotic of him. Severus thought it might kill Harry to put Draco back together again. But he really didn't care, Potter wasn't his problem, Draco was.

Stiffly, he arranged with Harry to come back and see Draco again a few days later.

He go to the door before turning around and saying; " Just so you know Potter, you're the lowest form of life. You are an evil monstrosity that should pay for what he had done. The only reason you haven't had the dementor's kiss is because you're Harry fucking Potter. The world might not know what you have done, the papers don't, but I do, and rest assured his mother will. May you go through Hell." And he walked out.

But a few minutes later, Draco wished he hadn't left. He had said something about his parents… it touched a chord in Draco, although he didn't really understand why. He didn't remember them, didn't need them since he had master… but there was still something inside of him that felt warm when he thought of them. He wanted to see them, he realised suddenly. He had very much enjoyed seeing Snape, even though he didn't really understand how they were related….but never mind. Maybe he would be nice to see his parents too? He would ask master…..

And so he wondered though to the bed room, and wrote his request on a slip of parchment, before slipping it in to the box. It was up to his master if he was allowed to see them or not. His master had perfect judgement and was right in everything, so Draco know he wouldn't steer his pet wrong.

Harry had to admit that he was less than thrilled when he got Draco's request. In fact he felt slightly queasy. He had no doubt that Snape would inform the Malfoys of what had happened to their son, and that was enough to make Harry feel sick with dread. How could he face the Malfoys after what had happened? They had been death eaters, yes, but after what he had done, how could he even look them in the eye?

But it was his family and no matter how much Harry personally dreaded it, he couldn't deny Draco this. He owled the Malfoy's on Draco's behalf and quickly received a response. The tone was cool, but under it there was a definite note of hysteria and desperation to see their son.

Well, _her_ son, Narcissa Malfoy had written the note; Mr. Malfoy hadn't even signed it.

Harry just prayed that Draco would be having a good day. Sometimes it was a struggle to even get Draco to talk to him, and he never looked at him. But on the crisp October morning that they had agreed to head to Manor, Draco was in fine sprits. Well, as fine as his spirits ever got, but Harry tired not to think about that.

Harry's eyes went wide as they arrived in front of the gates. The manor was huge, a proper estate that was clearly as old as the Malfoy name itself. It practically _smelt_ of power and money and even Harry was intimidated as the gates opened and they made their way up the long path to the front door.

But it opened even before they got their and a beautiful woman stepped out.

Draco flew into his mother's arms, breaking away from his master without a second thought.

Harry approached the door more slowly, not wanting to interrupt the mother and son. Narciassa seemed to be crying softly and in no hurry to let go of Draco, nor Draco her.

But she did break away when he saw Harry. She stood to her fullest high and coolly invited him in. she was dressed in beautiful silk robes of light lavender, with a small but tasteful diamond necklace on. Harry fell greatly under dressed in his simple jeans and T-shirt, he was very glad that Draco was wearing a button up top, not only because it looked formal, but also because it's high neck conceded Draco's collar.

The interior was just as impressive as the exterior, and Harry felt humbled as he was led though to a parlour. He had felt that his pent house flat was luxurious, but this had true class and made his place just look gaudy.

He exiled himself to the far side of the room, looking out of the window, not wanting to intrude on the reunion. But he did turn around in amazement when the conversation suddenly turned to…French? Possibly, it clearly wasn't English.

And then Draco stood up and left, and Harry was alone wth Narcissa. He gulped.

"mr. Potter, I must thank you for allowing me to see my son." She said coolly. She did not believe that a mother and son should ever be forcefully separated, but she knew who had the power in the room, and it was not her. She must be polite.

"not at all Ms. Malfoy. I take it that… you know I was under a curse?" He said nervously

"yes." She said simply_. And I can tell it's no longer on you_, she thought. The skittish boy that stood in front of her was nothing like the crude, powerful man that had once forced her to…

But never mind about that now, she couldn't have her son back, but maybe she could protect him…maybe.

"French was his first language." She informed him silkily. "really?" Harry asked, interested despite his nerves. "mmm, we went there every summer. He was born there actually."

"what was he like, when he was younger?" Narcissa didn't smile, although she wanted too, this Harry was so easy to manipulate.

"very lively. Very artistic. He used to love dancing particularly. Wanted to be a ballerina actually." A lump came to Harry's throat, he could really see Draco doing that. He had such grace, such poise… and somehow it didn't surprise Harry that Draco would love the stage, the spotlight… actually, it was perfect for him.

"although" Narcissa continued. " I doubt he will ever realise that dream. Not that he wasn't good enough, he was, and he worked so very hard. But…well, with all the injuries he has sustained, he will probably never be well enough."

Harry visibly flinched and turned away from her. She sneered for a second at his back, he should feel terrible, should feel like scum because he was. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she wasn't trying to punish Harry, not yet, just… encourage him to treat Draco like the prince he was.

" you may want to take him to the ballet yourself," and then she couldn't help but add "for a treat." Again, Harry jerked, feeling the stab at his guilt. See rolled her eyes and backed off slightly. "We always used to go the see the nut cracker every Christmas. He liked that. Giselle was his favourite ballet of all time though."

Harry had never even heard of any ballets, let alone someone having a favourite. And again he felt dwarfed by their sophistication.

"okay… I, um, will see what is on at the moment." " I'm sure Draco will appreciate it." She said. "assuming of course he is strong enough to go."

But with that she seemed to have crossed a line, Harry looked upset yes, but angry as well. He glared at her and opened his mouth to speak- but luckily, it was at that point Draco made his entrance.

He was carrying a large photo album, and set it down on his mother's lap. But she handed it to Harry. " I thought you might like to look at this." she also thought it would do no harm to remind him of Draco's humanity. He said he had changed, but she felt certain she would never trust him again.

"excuse me and my son," she said, putting just a little emphasis on the word 'son'. " we will go and make sure that the house elves are preparing lunch properly."

Harry nodded and opened the album. God, Draco had always been beautiful. Here he was, a smiling, hopeful six-year old, playing on a pebble beach. And in another photo, playing the piano on the lap of a much younger Severus.

It seemed he had been taught these things- French, music, dancing, probably more- ever since he had been born. Harry supposed that was just the pure blood way…

He felt tears prick at the back of his eyes. How could he have wasted all that? Wiped it from Draco's memory? It was a tragedy. He knew well his guilt, but that didn't stop it from almost crushing him.

He looked at another photo, a grinning Draco, his first tooth missing. And again he looked so innocent… Harry resolved to fix this no matter what, even if he had to break into the ministry, forget every law ever written, get a time turner go back and kill himself. He would do it if he had too.

Lunch for Harry was stiff and formal, but for mother and son it was warm and welcome. They chatted away happily in French. Draco not knowing that his master couldn't understand, Narcissa not caring. There was a lull in the conversation and Harry broke in;

"umm…where is Mr. Malfoy?" Ms. Malfoy turned cold eyes on him. "he…passed away, not long after Draco left." Harry's eyes went wide and he dropped his fork with a clatter. But that didn't matter, he looked quickly to Draco, who he didn't seem to care, didn't seem to connect his father to himself.

For once Harry was glad he couldn't remember; he wouldn't have to feel grief.

" I sent you an owl, but you refused it." She said simply, before turning back to Draco and saying something else in French.

And then they were rising, and Harry did too, just because he assumed he should. Draco turned to Harry and Blushed, saying; "would you like to see the grounds master?"

Harry nodded and Draco led him out a back door. The grounds were breath taking, there was a large knot garden, bright with flowers and lush with bushes. In the centre of that was a huge fountain. But beyond this were rolling hills and acres of land, in the distance there was a lake as well.

Draco slowly reached out to Harry and took his hand. He wasn't sure if he was allowed too, in fact he didn't think he was, but there was something about this place that made him feel safe, so he took the chance. And he was glad he did, because Harry smiled at him, and smiled back.

"shall we see the lake, master?" he boldly offered. Harry grinned wider, before giving an ecstatic "yes!" he loved how forward Draco had suddenly become. They slowly made their way to the lake, mostly in silence, Harry just admiring the beauty of the grounds and Draco remembering…things.

They got to the lake and slipped into the water. To be honest Harry had no idea what he was doing, but he followed Draco's lead, slipping of his own cloths as the other boy did. Then the cool water was all around them and Draco tilted his head back towards the sun, his eyes closed.

And they played, just played. It was wonderful, they laughed and dived under the cool waters.

Draco never forgot to call him master, but he did start a splash fight, which Harry happily let him win. They played until too tired and numb from the cold- it was October after all- and then they rose from the water. They dressed silently, both deep in thought.

"race you back to the manor." Harry offered and Draco grinned at him, before suddenly sprinting off, not waiting for harry to say 'go'. Harry laughed and ran after him, it was a close match and if Harry hadn't been watching Draco's fine body move, seeing the sun on his skin, the smile on his lips…in short if he had been paying attention, he would probably have won, but it was close all the same.

They came back into the manor, and suddenly harry was very cold and rather embarrassed. Narcissa Malfoy was still in her regal robes while Harry and Draco stood before her, dripping water all over the marble floor and breathing hard.

But Draco was grinning and that was all she had eyes for. She remembered a time, just like this, long ago now, except it was Pansy Parkingson and Balise Zambini next to her Draco. They always used to play together, and others too, all the pureblood children running through the house…so long ago. She never thought she would be able to see her baby smiling, playing again. She thought that had ended when the dark lord came back…

Harry and Draco left soon after, and Narcissa closed the door behind them, a little confused and a little scared. Had it really been Harry Potter with him, looking so young, so sweet? Harry Potter of all people, playing with him. Making him happy?

She hated that man, she really did, for taking her child and breaking him. But a little part loved him too, because he was putting him back together again… saving him.

Harry and Draco aperated home, still soaking wet, and landed in the hall. Harry crushed Draco in an embrace and smiled into his ear. "I had a great day today baby." He said. " me two master." Harry smiled and continued. "really great, I mean you…you were so lovely today…" he took a deep breath. "you know, you don't have to wear that collar." Harry wasn't totally sure if this was the right time, but he thought it might be. Draco had been so good today, so forward…for him anyway.

There was a silence.

"what do you mean master?" Draco slowly asked, a small ball of terror growing inside of him.

" I mean…well, you won't always be my slave… and maybe we can take your collar off to signify that" Draco felt as if the world had disappeared from under him, Harry's embrace the only thing that kept him upright.

" I wont master?" he said, fighting to keep his voice even. "no…" Harry said, "but we don't have to worry about that now_." Oh thank god_, Draco thought, almost crying in relief.

"Not for a little while." Harry just wanted to plant the seed in Draco's mind really, but then Draco hadn't had a meltdown, so maybe he was more ready than Harry thought…

Harry broke away from him and wondered though to their bedroom to change his wet clothes, not registering Draco's horror. Mutely, Draco followed him, changing into pale blue robes.

He wondered listlessly out of the room. Not be Master's slave? Then what would he be? Nothing, he wouldn't be anything if he wasn't master's…. how would that even work? Not be master's? It didn't seem to comply with the rules of the universe. Maybe he would just die, without master.

He touched his collar, his wonderful collar. He was proud of it, the only thing in the world he was proud of. He didn't want to be without it, ever, not even in death.

And how long was " a little while"? Draco shivered, but a sort of calm came over him. A little while didn't sound like a long time. And he never wanted his collar to go away. But he couldn't fight master for it, could he? No, that would only prove to Master he was unworthy and make master deprive him of it sooner.

He walked though the rooms until he came to the balcony. He slid the door open and was hit with a blast of cold air and noise from the city below. He looked for a moment before heading out it and standing on the low marble wall that edged the balcony.

He wasn't afraid. He would comforted, in away. If he did this, he would never have to know what it was like to live without Master and he could have his collar. It was logical, he only wished he could have met who ever his replacement would be, make sure they were good enough…

He lifted one foot off of the cold rock and held it out over the street below. It was very far down, the people looked like ants. He took a deep breath.

But the draft and the noise must have altered Harry because he wondered curiously into the room, and felt his heart stop. There, Draco stood, looking like an angel in those light blue robes, framed by a golden sun. One foot hug over the edge, the other firmly on the ground.

And then he jumped, for one second his body curved in a graceful arch, before plummeting out of sight.

It was not Draco's screams, but Harry's that followed his body down.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey guys, wow its been ages since I updated, SO SORRY but I wont do it again! I did however take the time to re-read this story and I have to ask; WHY DO YOU READ THIS? it's so depressing! I have to say I didn't really relize how angsty it was until I re-read it. But please do keep reading! Love and kisses!_

Harry flew. He raced down the stairs, heart in his mouth, vision blurred with tears. He spirinted past the other apartments. Only dimly aware of anything else in the world. He knocked into someone as he ran, they called after him, but he didn't care, he burst into the street mind aflame with terrible images of what he would find.

His baby, his angel, his Draco, his responsibility.

Dead. Not only dead but splatted across the pavement, oozing blood and organs. Bones crushed and all life gone.

His fault.

But…he couldn't find him. He spirited around the perimeter of the building, and still nothing, not even a drop of blood. He stopped, heart hammering, mind cartwheeling to find some explanation.

"Mr Potter?" Someone called; he turned around in a daze and saw an old-ish, well-dressed woman walking his way. Vaguely he recognised her as his land lord, although they had only met once, when Harry moved in.

"What?" he croaked mouth dry, he really didn't have time to talk about rent or anything right now, he had to find-

"He's in here love. I have him." "What-"he asked unable to comprehend what she was saying. She beckoned for him to follow and he shakily did so. They went back inside and entered her home.

It was a nice apartment, not as nice or as big as his, but nice.

She led him around a corner, and there, on a pale pink couch lay his angel, his Draco, alive and well and breathing peacefully, as if in a deep sleep.

"The tenant before you had a cat that liked to go on the balcony. She absolutely insisted that we install some safety spells in case the creature fell off. It seemed a good idea so I kept it after she left. Anything that falls from there ends up right here. "She explained. Harry moved towards Draco as if in a daze, stoking his forehead gently, just to make sure he was real.

"He should wake up in a few moments." She informed him. Harry just gapped at her, not understanding…anything. And sure enough, before Harry even had his wits collected, Draco moaned and opened his eyes…and blushed when he saw his master.

_I should have known better, really_, Draco thought_, obviously I won't be able to leave without his permission, won't even be able to die. Of course Master will be the one to decide that for me, how could I have thought otherwise? I'm such an idiot…._

Harry threw himself at Draco, squeezing him in a tight hug. "Draco! Draco darling Draco…" he kept repeating, rocking back and forth slightly. His landlady cleared her throat softly and Harry scrambled to get up, all too aware he was in her home…and that he needed to have a very serious talk with Draco.

They heeded back to their own apartment in silence, Harry stunned, Draco embarrassed.

They headed in to one of the parlours, Harry wasn't really aware which. He sat down on one of the love seats and motioned for Draco to join him. For a moment Harry just stared at the other man, head still reeling.

"Why?" Harry finally asked. Draco hung his head. "I thought… I thought we had such a great day today baby. I thought you enjoyed it." Harry continued, a slight shake in his voice.

"I did"Draco whispered, Harry had to lean in closer to be able to hear him. "I had the best day of my life."

"But…then, why did you jump?" Draco said something, but even quieter this time, harry couldn't catch it. "What was that baby? Can you um, speak up, a little?"

"I didn't want you to take my collar away." Harry's jaw dropped, was _that_ what this was all about? _Seriously_? Draco's lip began to tremble, before Harry knew what the hell was going on, Draco had launched himself in to Harry's lap, clinging on to him for dear life. " don't take it away, please, please master I'll be so good, soooo good I promise I always will be always always always, but don't take it away master, let me stay here with you, I'll be good you won't even know im here. I'll be good." By now Draco was sobbing into Harry's shirt, fingures fisted into the fabric in a death like grip.

"oh baby…" Harry exhaled, before wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close. "Please k-keep me." Draco whimpered. "Oh babe, I will, of course I will. You're going to be mine for a very long time." Draco beamed into Harry's chest, but Harry just closed his eyes in despair. He now understood, perhaps for the first time, just how long it was going to take them to do this.

If, they were going to. At the moment it just didn't seem too certain.

Harry leaned back and Draco sniffled in to his shirt. Should he perhaps give up? He had never, ever in his life given up. But…God, he was killing him! It was pure luck that Draco hadn't died today, and if he was really depressed enough to give up his life… Wouldn't it just be kinder to accept Draco as he was? To make sure he never had another worry again? To truly be 'Master', to provide for, and love, and protect…

He kissed Draco softly on the head and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know, he just didn't know. What he did know what that they were both exhausted. Draco still wasn't up to a lot of physical exercise and he had actually done that a lot today, with the running, and swimming….and jumping of off the balcony. Harry shivered. Anyway, the point was, they had both had a long day, and all Harry wanted was just to relax for the next few hours.

And more or less that's what happened. Draco cooked for him, obviously, but they ate together, and curled up on the couch and…just relaxed. It had been a crazy, insane, totally mad day. But as Harry fell asleep with Draco in his arms, he relized it hadn't been all bad.

The next morning he woke up groggy and sad. He curled up and tried desperately to think of a way to make Draco at least a little happier. What was it his mother had said? Harry tried to remember….and then it came to him, the ballet!

After the craziness of yesterday Harry had forgotten all about it, but he soon discovered that The Royal Magical Academy of Ballet were doing a production of "La Fille mal gardée" This week. Harry had no idea what it was about, but the name sounded really posh. He thought Draco would like it.

And he was right; when he told Draco he was over joyed, clapping his hands together and squealing with delight. Harry felt strangely proud of himself.

The days leading up to the show were as uneventfull as they ever were for Harry, which is to say, not very. He still didn't understand Draco and was losing hope that he ever would. But in essence, Draco was happier than Harry thought he was. He was proud that Master hadn't punished him in ages, and Severus had come to see him again, _and_ he wasn't starving anymore. What more could he want?

On the eve of the ballet, Draco stood in front of the mirror, robes of iridescent sea green hugging his slim form. It was so simple, but so elegant. Harry beamed at him, Draco really didn't need any more than that, he was beautiful, just the way he was.

His red collar peeped out a bit from under the top of his robes, but it was largely unnoticeable. Harry swallowed nervously; he had already sat Draco down and explained to him that he couldn't address Harry as "master" in public. He was horrified. Thankfully, Harry had decided to bite the bullet and tell Draco as soon as possible, and a good thing it was too, because it took him a few days to get used to it. In fact Harry wasn't 100 per cent certain he was used to it, even now.

"You look divine darling." Harry declared. "Thank you master!" He spun around for him and looked in the mirror, grinning. He did look good. And he knew it, perhaps not in the way that he knew it when he was at Hogwarts, not in the devastating, soul deep way, but he wasn't blind.

And it made him just a little better.

Harry wasn't looking to shabby either, in robes of a forest green that complimented Draco's beautifully. For harry that's what the whole evening was about; pleasing Draco.

They had dinner at an exquisite French place, and although Draco was hardly chatty he didn't call Harry master. Harry felt like jumping up and down with joy, certain that this had to mean something good.

The ballet its self was….god it was long. Harry felt like such a philistine, but it was kind of boring to be honest. Draco clearly loved it though and hearing every little gasp or sigh of pleasure from him made it so worth it for Harry.

The show was something to do with these lovers…. And they couldn't get married or something, because of the girl's mother, but Harry was pretty sure they got together in the end. Draco would know. He clearly understood and adored it. But Draco could talk about nothing apart from how beautiful it was, how magnificent…. And Harry didn't want to interrupt that.

As they crawled into bed that night, harry nibbled on his lip sadly. Draco had been so happy tonight. Maybe…maybe this was who Draco was now. Maybe he shouldn't try and change him, maybe that would be wrong. Maybe he could just make him happy. He sighed and rolled Draco a little closer.

_It would mean staying with him forever,_ a little voice inside him said.

_I wouldn't mind that…._ he smiled sadly, before falling into sweet sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Narcissa Malfoy read the newspaper on the west wing terrace, as she did every summer morning. She smiled as she looked at the gossip column. She was not a woman who usually red these things, but she had heard that Harry had plans to take her son out the ballet the night before, and she wanted to get some confirmation. She was not disappointed.

The papers did not know about Harry's curse, to them he had suddenly become extremely out going, and then just as suddenly became a recluse again. This trip to the ballet had been his first outing in months, and the press was scandalised to see who he had on his arm….

Her beautiful baby boy.

She beamed down at the photograph and traced the outline of his face. He was laughing and holding hands with Harry, who had eyes only for Draco. He probably didn't even know they were being photographed. She sighed. They did look good together, happy even. If she didn't know better she would think they were perfect. In fact, Harry _looked_ like he was taking care of Draco and Draco _looked_ like he was happy….

Far happier than she had ever been in her marriage, in fact. He had never hit her or anything, but she was far happier now she had killed him. Yes, she killed him, a few drops of poison in his afternoon tea; it was an effective and rare poison, the extremely expensive stuff that was untraceable. She had a feeling that Severus had made it during the first war, but she couldn't remember.

Anyway, it was clean and business like and now it was over. She just wished she could do the same to Harry. She had had plenty of opportunity when he was here before, but Draco was so dependent on him at the moment, it wouldn't make sense to do it…yet.

She sat back in her chair and let the sun wash over her.

Harry himself walked into his apartment, a sleek black bag in his hand.

He wasn't totally sure this was a good idea, but ever since….the incident, as Harry now thought of it, he couldn't stop thinking about Draco and his collar, and well…. He hoped he wasn't going to mess everything up again; there was no way to really tell. He was just going to have to risk it.

He went through to the lest formal room, the games room and called Draco in. They sat down on the deep blue love seat and Harry took a deep breath, suddenly feeling a little ill…

"Draco." He said, trying to sound confident. "Please take off your collar." Draco's eyes went wide and his hand flew up to his neck, heart ponding. "just trust me baby." Harry said, to be honest he didn't even trust himself. He couldn't be sure that this was the right thing to do. But he hoped it was.

With shaking hands Draco unclasped the plastic collar and slowly, achingly bought it to his lap. His held on to it so tightly his hands were deathly white, but he did as master asked. He just prayed that this wasn't….the end. Harry came forward and kissed Draco's neck sensually, licking, nibbling, sucking. Despite himself Draco moaned and threw his head back, a huge smile spread across Harry's face and he pulled Draco on to his lap. As they kissed, Draco's grip on his collar slowly loosened and trembling, he let go of it to cup his master's face.

When they finally pulled apart Draco's lips were swollen and his eyes bright.

"Like that baby?" Harry couldn't resist asking. He knew he had, they both clearly had, but Harry liked to be told. "Yes master" Draco said, blushing slightly. "Now" Harry said, truly confident this time. "Close your eyes." Draco did so, still all too aware of his bare neck, but unwilling to deny his master…

He heard a slight rustle of tissue paper before he felt Harry's breath on his face and something cool being wrapped around his throat. "open." Harry said, He held out a small hand held mirror to Draco, who snatched it up eagerly and looked- and gasped.

His new collar was rose gold with rows and rows of brilliant diamonds, each glistening and omitting a tiny rainbow, making Draco look as if he glowed. "Oh Harry! It's amazing!" Harry beamed at him, but then his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. Luckily, Draco was still admiring himself in the mirror so he didn't see, but- he had just called Harry by his first name! Harry was gob smacked, he felt like dancing and singing and celebrating, and anything else he could do. This was major, this was huge, and this was-

"Oh thank you master!" Draco dropped the mirror and climbed in to Harry's lap again. "Well, I thought you deserved something better than that old plastic one." "Thank you!" Draco gushed. Harry kissed him on the forehead, rather pleased with himself. "But baby," he said, bracing himself for whatever Draco decided to throw at him. "Sometimes…" he started slowly. "Sometimes, I'm going to ask you to take it off okay? And it doesn't mean anything bad will happen it just means…you'll take a break from it for a bit. Like you did just now. Okay?"

The point was for Draco to learn that the world wouldn't end if he wasn't wearing it, and maybe when he learned that, he could learn the same thing in relationship to being Harry's pet…

"Okay!" Draco said, almost jumping up and down for joy. Harry wasn't totally sure he had been listening, he had picked up the mirror again and was still gazing at his gift in awe, but, well he was so happy and that was so rare, Harry just didn't have the heart to interrupt him….

He wrapped his arms around Draco and kissed his head gently, but Draco only vaguely registered it, he was still so enchanted...

Harry's plan took a long time to work, but by mid-October, he had actually got somewhere with it…kind of. Draco was now totally okay with taking it off, excited about it even, but he never, ever forgot to put it back on again, and he got nervous if it was away from him for too long. But well, small steps… Time moved on, Severus visited the two of them often and Draco was clearly becoming very close to the man. They went to see Draco's mother a few more times, and the ballet, opera and any other thing Harry thought Draco was likely to enjoy.

Harry was currently wondering around muggle London, he did that sometimes. It was nice to get out of the house to be honest, and he always picked up a little something for Draco, some flowers, or a box of chocolates or something. He was never very original, but it was the thought that counted, and everywhere he went, he thought about Draco, saw things that he might like, small things mostly, but he was always on Harry's mind.

He didn't spend a long time out, it was starting to rain and he had a craving to curl up in front of the TV and snuggle with Draco…

But when he got home, something wasn't right. Draco looked slightly damp for one thing, and he was very fidgety, almost as if guilty. Harry tried to ask what was wrong, but Draco just said; "not wrong, exactly master." Harry wanted to clarify, but he also wanted to respect the other man's privacy, so he left it alone.

It was a little while later, they were both watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory, when Draco finally spoke up; "you said I was allowed to go outside, um, right master? That I had permission, and everything?" Harry turned to Draco, stunned. "Well, yeah, you are defiantly allowed too! Did you?"

"Yes master." Draco told the floor. He had been nervous ever since master had come home a few hours ago, but now he was verging on terrified, he tried not to let it show, but he wasn't totally sure what he had done was allowed. And he didn't want to be a bad boy…

"What did you do?" Draco took a deep breath. "Well, I was cleaning one of the windows master, and I looked down and I thought I saw… I mean we're so high up, it was hard to tell, I thought I saw a cat in the street… it looked hurt, it kept wondering around in circles, so… I went down and…well checked if it was okay." Draco decided to skip the fact that he was almost crying in fear by the time he got down there, and that it was perhaps the bravest thing he had done in his entire life.

"Oh good for you honey." Harry said, heart fluttering. "And was the cat okay? What did you do?"

"I…bought it up here master." Draco looked at Harry with wide eyes, fearful not only for himself, but for his new…friend. But Harry just smiled and asked where the cat was now. Still shaking slightly, Draco went to retrieve her.

He walked back in a few moments later, with the most adorable grey kitten in his arms. She mewed softly and Draco began to stoke her. Harry could honestly say he had never seen anything more angelic in his life than these two beings together. He was so in awe that he could do nothing but stare at them, stare at their beauty.

"Her name is Pringles." Draco said after a moment.

"Awwwww!" Harry cooed, reaching out to take her. She certainly seemed like a stray, her hair was a bit manky and there was blood on her leg. With a quick spell he fixed the bone and had her purring in moments.

"Why pringles?" Harry asked. "Oh, when I found her she was going through some rubbish on the side of the street, a pringles can to be exact… I thought it was sweet. If that's okay master…"

"Of course baby!" Harry said, "I'll go out and get her some food and stuff in the morning, all the shops will be closed by now."

"You mean, we can keep her?" Draco exclaimed, he really hadn't been expecting anything as god as that! "Of course, unless you don't want to..?" "I do master! I do very much!" Harry smiled and kissed Draco before letting pringles down to the ground. "Good. Because I do too." Draco smiled and hugged him, before merrily heading off to start dinner.

_He's an amazing person_, Harry thought suddenly. And it was true, he was. To risk his 'masters' wrath must have taken a huge amount of courage, and just so he could help a kitten…

And Harry felt himself sliding just a little more in love.

That night, Pringles jumped on the bed with them, settling between Harry's and Draco's legs. For such a hurt little thing, she was remarkably resilient, just like Draco, really….

"I'm so glad you saved her baby, good for you."

Draco Just smiled in to his master's neck, and took his hand. He felt really good about what he had done, felt…proud. Of himself. He hadn't felt like that in a long time. For a moment there was a spark in him that said that perhaps he was a good and strong, possibly even strong enough to be independent. But the spark was gone before he could even really think about it.

It was like watching a flower opening, Harry decided. That's what it was like seeing Draco start to come alive again. It had been about four months since Harry's curse had been lifted, and six since he had taken Draco away from his family. And still so little had happened, and yet so much. Harry was fiercely proud of Draco, of his kindness, his raw emotions, and his pure endurance. He had so much inside of him that Harry just didn't understand, so much hurt, and yet he was still… so amazing.

Harry woke up multiple times in the night, due to Pringles yowling, but Draco slept straight through, and she was so cute, and he was so happy to just be with Draco, that Harry didn't really mind.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey guys, so ive been told I really, really need a beta. I'm sure none of you are surprised…this one is not beta'd but if anyone wants to be my beta I would love them forever! No joke! Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, sorry it took so long to get to you. Also, please check out my newest story; moths to a flame. I'm really excited about it, the first chapter is about 3000 words long! Thank you to anyone who reviewed and PLEASE keep it up! Lots of love. _

Time marched on and nothing much changed. Draco was happy to serve and obey, although he did get a little better. Harry grew more devoted to him, although not necessarily more competent in caring for him. December came, and with it Draco's birthday.

Harry took him to Paris for the weekend, they enjoyed the best hotels, the best food, the best theatre, the best anything and everything. Draco obviously had been there before, but he couldn't really remember anything before he came to Harry, so everything was new and exciting. Snow and ice decorated the city; it glittered like the stars themselves had descended on the house tops. It was the time of Harry's life, his first jaunt ever out of Brittan. But to Draco it seemed oddly familiar, like a ghost of something else.

It was December the 10th, and Draco was seated with Severus, happily chirping away about how honoured he was to belong to his master.

"the thing is…I don't really understand something." Draco admitted, feeling a bit stupid that he had to ask. He was okay with asking questions now, but it now made him feel like he was being really slow, like he was the only one to not understand. "What's that?" Severus asked, he was chronically tired of hearing how perfect Potter was… but he would be there for Draco, no matter what.

"it's master, he keeps asking if I'm happy or if I'm enjoying myself, stuff like that." Draco said, as if these concepts were utterly foreign to him. "I guess just… I wonder why he cares? He never used too."

Severus sighed deeply; he didn't envy Potter the job of putting his godson back together again… "Oh Draco, he… he's changed. And he wants the best for you. He thinks you deserve to be happy." Severus tried to explain. It really was like talking to a child sometimes, all the assumptions most people made, Draco just didn't. He had to have all these things explained to him, like why you had to be nice to people you didn't like, or why white lies were okay sometimes…

"but why? Master never used to care about that. And he keeps saying I deserve the best of everything. Why? Why do I just automatically deserve to be happy, surly I should have to work for it? Or is the right to happiness universal?" Draco drew his legs up and hugged his knees, looking at Severus like he had all the answers.

"well, you have worked for it. I know…" Severus took a deep breath; he really didn't want to say this. The words felt dirty coming from his mouth. " I know you've been a good pet to him."

"So…. Happiness is my reward? Master's punishments were like…a test?"

"no." Severus said sternly. He did not want Draco to think that what had happened was a perquisite to his happiness. That would make it necessary, that would make it okay…

"why? It's not like I've saved the world or anything. I haven't done good deeds, I don't even really care about anyone apart from you and master. Maybe I care about mother sometimes…. Master though, he's save the world, he deserves to be happy." Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. He had no idea how to answer these questions. He put his cup of tea down on the coffee table in front of them and turned to face Draco head on. He was about to say something when-

" you deserve to be happy." Draco continued. "are you?" Severus opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Draco's innocent manner allowed him to blurt out these things, allowed him to ask the questions that needed to be asked, when everyone else just shied away, too politically correct to say anything at all.

"I…" Severus gulped, he had never been asked directly before, people just assumed he wasn't. "no." he said finally, deciding he should respect Draco enough to be honest. "No I'm not."

"you've done better things than me, more important things. You're so much smarter, you educate people, you make potions that help people when they are sick, and I know you played a huge role in the war, even if I cant remember. I know I'm not any of those things. Surly the best thing I can do in life is to make someone like you or Master happy. That would be useful, that would be good." Severus sighed wishing he could explain, wishing he knew himself. He looked out the wide window as snow softly fell.

"I'm sorry, I think you've probably answered my question already, but I still dont understand. Why do I deserve to be happy? Because I don't understand why everyone suddenly cares."

"I've always cared." Severus decreed. "I always have Draco and I always will… but, Your master-" and again the words burned his mouth "he was prevented from caring by a curse. We've talked about it, remember? He wasn't exactly himself." Severus couldn't believe he was defending Potter, but he had to be honest with Draco, and it _was_ the truth…

Draco looked at him blankly. "So he's always cared, he just didn't act like it until now?"

"yes… in a way…" Severus said, deciding it was a half-truth… But Draco just couldn't buy that, it would be kind of like having two masters. And that would just be creepy…

"or does he only care about my happiness because, when I'm happy I work better, and therefore my being happy makes him happy, and his desire for me to be happy is just his desire to be happy himself?"

Severus stared at him for a moment. In his opinion, yes Draco was perfectly correct; Potter's desire for Draco to get better was entirely self-serving, although he thought that Potter just wanted it because it would alleviate his guilt…But would it do any good to tell him that?

"He… it seems as if he cares for you. And so values your happiness."

Draco looked at him blankly and picked up his drink, a tall glass of something sweet smelling and yellow. "you mean the way I care about Pringles?" God that cat annoyed the hell out of Severus. It yallowed constantly, but Draco adored the thing…

"well…in a way." Severus admitted. He really wished he had the answers, but happiness, life philosophy, that really wasn't his thing. Cold, hard facts he could talk about, but his own life was a mess, how was he meant to help anyone else? Especially someone as fragile as Draco.

"but she hasn't done anything wrong. I have." Draco looked innocently at the older man and chewed on the straw in his glass. "I don't remember much, master must have wiped my memory, but know I was a death eater. I still have the mark on my arm. They were evil. They were the ones master was fighting against. So I'm evil, right? Is there some sort of scale? Like 'this amount of suffering cancels out this amount of bad behaviour' or 'this amount of good deeds earns you this much happiness'?"

_God I wish_, Severus thought gloomily, that would make everything so much easier

They continued to talk for a long time, Draco unwittingly battling with big philosophical questions. It took hours, well into the evening actually, until Draco kicked the other man out, saying he had to make dinner for his master.

Severus strolled out into the winter evening, he liked to take a walk after seeing Draco, it helped to clear his head. The truth was, none of them knew what they were doing, no one knew what was right for him, and he certainly couldn't answer his questions about happiness… it was with a heavy heart that he opened the door to his own home, a small, dark and cold place. He was unhappy, it was true, he had been for years. It was like a shroud around him that he had become used to over the years. He wondered if it was too late to let it go. He thought it was.

Draco meanwhile was adding the finishing touches to a steaming plate of steak for his master. He wanted to ask Harry about happiness and things, but… it was scary. He was a slytherin at his core, despite everything that had happened, and he did not like doing scary things. And anyway, he was content. He wasn't starving, or afraid or in pain, and that was all Draco considered necessary. He served his master his dinner and smiled as Harry told him it tasted amazing. Pringles mewed loudly from some distant room and Draco smiled, not able to imagine a fuller, or a better life…

Eventually, Draco did talk philosophy with his master. At first Harry was intrigued by what he was saying, excited even, but then he was scared. Very scared. Thinking for himself was, to Harry the first major step towards total independence. Which was good. Or, at least, it should be….

But really, it made his heart ache. It was a sign, harry thought, that Draco was finally moving towards independence. And that meant he would have to say good bye. Not soon, he knew that, but…it was coming. He didn't know when exactly Draco had stopped being a responsibility of his and started being…well, his love, but he had. By now Harry really did love him. And the thought of saying good-bye made the bottom fall out of his world.

He came up behind Draco and hugged him, breathing in his scent, never ever wanting to forget even the smallest thing about him. "hello master" Draco said, a smile on his face. "Hey baby." Harry whispered, trying to sound happy, and failing. "are you all right master?" Draco asked, turning around and laying his head on Harry's chest. "yeah." Harry said, trying to mean it.

"I love you." He said after a pause. He had never said it to Draco before, afraid that he wasn't ready for it.

But Draco's face split into a wide smile and he said it back. "I love you too, master." It would have been so perfect, if he just hadn't said that last word…Harry sighed, a deep depression welling up inside of him.

He didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it, if he still had to address him like that. He might think he did. But Harry knew better.

"I love you so, so much… try not to forget that, okay? Ever. Please?" Harry begged. He was terrified that one day Draco would understand everything, would remember it all, and would hate him for it. Because there was no way Draco would get better and not hate him. It just wasn't possible, and Draco _had_ to get better.

Harry's heart squeezed and his arms mimicked it around Draco's body. He was in love, but one day his love would have to leave him. A lesser man would intentionally halt his progress, make him stay like this for ever. With Harry forever. But Harry was not a lesser man.

Christmas wasn't long after that, and they had a truly magical time together. Harry pampered Draco mercilessly, although they weren't totally alone, Severus came for a while, and even had a present for Harry, although he gave it rather sullenly. Hermione too, and a few of the weasly's. Harry was perhaps a little over protective of Draco, but he didn't think it would be a good idea for him to see the whole clan; Fred and George were just too much of a wild card for his darling.

They did see Draco's mother though, the day was bright and full of laughter, Draco and him joking, laughing, playing… In fact in many ways it was the happiest Harry had ever been, with no war on, no curse, and he and Draco were happy together. To be honest, he really didn't want anything else.

But all the while Harry's realization hung over him like a veil. It stopped him from being truly happy for Draco when he showed signs of getting that little bit better, because it was just another step towards leaving him. That, in turn made him guilty for not being able to happy for him, it felt petty and selfish, but Harry was very, very afraid of what he knew was coming, it was like standing on a train track and not being able to move, knowing that sooner or later, that train would come hurtling towards him.

His stomach squeezed with the anticipation, he developed nightmares about it, it grew into a slimly knot inside of him that never went away, that he in fact was encouraging, by encouraging Draco's recovery. But he would _not_ stop helping him, couldn't stop loving him, wouldn't see him stay like this…

And before they knew it, it was the New Year! Harry loved that time of year, anything felt possible, and as he cuddled up to Draco in bed, he smiled into the soft skin of his shoulder, ready to drift into simple sleep…but-

"freedom is an illusion." Draco said suddenly. "what?" Harry asked, lifting himself on one elbow. "I think it's something my father used to say." He let out a smile and rolled over in the lush blue sheets. "I think I remembered something. I don't know what we were talking about, but he said 'freedom is an illusion'" Harry gulped suddenly, he didn't know if he wanted to listen to the musings of Lucius Malfoy, but he had to ask…

" what did he mean?" Harry inquired, trying to sound as if the topic didn't make him feel a little nauseous. " he said… that we are all bound by certain rules and laws and that some are obvious and some are not. But he said these rules are what shape our society, and without them there would be anarchy. He talked about order, and chaos and something about… making the most of the freedom you had, and if you did that, then your bonds didn't really matter. It was about learning to live inside of them…i think we were talking about house elves, and pure blood traditions and why we did the things we did…Huh, how strange, I wonder if I will remember more things…Anyway, sorry to keep you up master." Harry wanted to say more, wanted to work out what Draco was talking about, wanted to do _something_, but Draco just rolled over again, a huge grin on his face before saying; "good night master!"

Harry's awareness that Draco would one day leave him never went away, if anything it grew more acute. He started to cling to Draco, pampering him more and more, they went on holiday to itally, and Harry endured countless hours of ballet and opera. He didn't really think any of this would make him stay any longer than he would other wise. But it was all Harry knew how to do, and that smile Draco had, it could change the world….

It had certainly changed Harry's, for ever.


	12. Chapter 12

_Okay, I hope you guys like this chapter more, I admit the last one was a bit limp but I went back and changed it, I hope its better now, but I thought a lot of it was nessisary... Oh and I still need a beta, im trying to find one but its surprisingly hard….where does that come word from anyway, why is it called a beta? Anyway, please review my lovies! _

Soon winter snow turned to spring showers, the days got steadily longer and Harry fell more and more in love. By now Draco remembered some more things, it came back in drips and drabs, like the smell of his father or how to play certain songs on the piano.

It was just after lunch and Harry and Draco were happily kissing in the kitchen, Harry slowly ran his hands up Draco's top and grazed his nipple. Sex between the two of them was still a bit strange, even after almost a year. But this was one of those times that Draco wasn't wearing his collar, and Harry just wanted him to feel good.

Soon their tops and jeans were on the floor and Harry pecked Draco lovingly on the lips, before turning him round and spreading his legs. Draco braced himself on the counter and moaned as Harry inserted a finger inside of him. Harry smiled, loving and he that Draco loved it, and he slipped another figure in, taking his time in prepping his baby, he was always so paranoid he would hurt him. When he was ready, Harry pushed himself in slowly and almost lazily, lovingly fucking him, taking it slow and sweet. They panted and moaned, and Harry placed a huge love bite on his neck. When they came they came together, Harry inside of Draco and Draco all over the counter top.

They kissed once more and Harry spelled them dry. "I'm going to go out for a bit, okay baby?" Harry asked, wanting to return a library book before the rain started. "yes of course master." Draco stood on his tip toes and pecked him on the nose, before happily heading off the clean the house. Harry left, a smile on his face. He was happily inside the library by the time the rain started, in fact he barly noticed it.

Back at the flat the rain tapped rhythmically on the windows, and Draco continued his journey round the house. It was a big house, and it would take him most of the day to get though cleaning all of it, but it made him happy, in a way. He moved from the music room into the dining room, a long room with a long table set with silver and crystal. In the corner there was a grandfather clock. The sound echoed around the room, filling it in a slightly ominous way, a slightly familiar way….

Tick, tick, tick; the mechanical sound of a clock

Tap, tap, tap; the pitter patter of rain

There was something of an earth quake going on inside Draco, he felt as if he was on the edge of a precipice, balancing perfectly, but on the edge of what he didn't yet know.

He let out a long, shaky sigh. It was enough to make him fall over the edge.

Those elements, he had heard them all before. It hit him like a tidal wave, like an explosion going off inside of his head.

_Draco was sitting on his bed, doing his best to enjoy his last evening at home. He felt a shiver run threw him that had nothing to do with the storm raging outside..._ _the only other sounds in the room were Draco's irregular breathing and the ticking clock, which Draco felt a sudden irrational hatred for. _

_Hatred. _

The flood gates had been opened.

He remembered.

_Walking down the corridor, running in to Potter, insulting each other, throwing a punch, sneering at him and his stupid friends - his fucking equal, no not even, his fucking inferior. _

_Potter falling down the stairs, his big feet getting in the way as usual. That stupid grin, that infernal Gryffindor earnestness, the idiocy of it, of him._

_Playing him in quiddich, neck and neck with him, making him work for every win he ever had. _

_And then back to his first memory, potter coming in to his house and enslaving him, making him say _thank you_. Throwing him across a table forcing himself inside of Draco while he sobbed and _begged_._

_No reason, no cause, no right. _

He understood now what had happened now, understood all too well. Remembered the utter contempt and hatred he had once had. The all-consuming hatred burned him, eating his mind, his body, his capacity for rational thought.

He let out a scream, a primal noise of anger and pain.

Draco's whole body shook with anger, he grabbed the nearest thing to him; a large glass vase and spun around, hurling the thing at the wall. it shattered with a beautifully final sound and sent shards of glass everywhere. "I hate you." He bellowed at the empty house "I hope you DIE"

Draco let out a scream, just a yell, no words; there weren't any words that could describe what he was feeling. The pain, the anger, the understanding it was too much, just too much. His magic went hay wire, ripping through the house, exploding the glass in the windows and shredding the furniture. "I HATE YOU." He bellowed again, he wanted Potter to know, to feel all the hatred Draco held for him, but he couldn't, he would never understand just what he had done.

It wasn't just Draco's body that was shaking, it was his very soul, he was so, so angry. Angry, betrayed, murderous, hurt, terrified, furious. He never knew he could feel this much. Like an ice pick into his skull, the truth threatened to kill him with the unrelenting presence of it.

He wanted to destroy Harry, his house, his life, his very being. He flew through to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife, before turning towards the wall and carving into it.

First; an I: the letter two feet tall, the wall paper curling as Draco drove the knife into it.

HATE: His arm was shaking with the effort of it, the wall was well made, but he was not going to give up.

YOU: And he did, he really did. The intensity of it burned inside of him, like he was about to be split in two. The memoires of everything, fucking _every_thing crashed around inside of him. The abuse he had suffered from, the fact that his father was dead, the war, Hogwarts, there was so much all he could do was scream and destroy.

So he went through the rooms and did exactly that. More words carved into the walls; evil, rapist, vile, hate, he felt that the fire inside of him would never burn out. But he didn't get much further, it was a huge flat. He was lucky, in fact that he heard the front door open over all the noise he was making. There was a slight pause and then; "Draco?" Harry yelled, taking in the devastation that was now his front hall.

Draco froze, terror over coming him. He couldn't face Potter, he was still so incredibly angry, but not that brave.

Without thinking, he apperated into the ether, going to the first place he thought of; Severus's house. He landed in the garden, thankfully in one piece.

It was still fucking raining.

Which was good in a way, it calmed him down a little. He turned his face to the sky and felt the water run over his lips, his chin, his eye lids.

Severus meanwhile marched into the garden, his wand raised, altered by his wards that there was an intruder on his grounds.

He was about to send a stunner at the man, but luckily he recognised him just in time.

"draco?" He bellowed over the rain, now working up to a full out storm. "come inside"

Draco look at him gormlessly, mind drifting into shock at what he had just done. Severus couldn't be sure if he hadn't understood the invitation, or if he had drifted into another sort of madness, but for a moment he stood perfectly still.

"I HATE HIM." He yelled over the wind and rain, still not moving. By now the two men were soaked to the skin, and Severus had to cautiously lead Draco inside, wishing he could be happy about this new development.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey guys thank you so much for the reviews, you are all SO lovely! Please revewis for this one as well, it does mean a lot to me, I just get SO excited! I'm sure you guys know how it feels. Just fyi, the end of this one is a bit on the…. Macabre side, I hope its not too much, but tell me what you think. Anyway, without further ado…. _

The next morning Draco woke by someone shaking his shoulder gently. His heart leapt in to his mouth and he shot upright, had he over slept? Forgotten to get up in time to make master's breakfast?

And then his eyes adjusted to the light and he looked around the room. It was small and brown, wooden floor, wooden walls, wooden celling, wooden bed and wardrobe in the corner. The one source of colour was the light blue curtains, illumined by the sun from outside. And he remembered where he was.

Severus sat down lightly on the edge of the bed, Draco shifted to him more space and let out a long sigh.

" I bought you some food." Severus said after a pause. "Thanks." Draco said, his voice gravely this early in the morning. He took the plate and stared at it listlessly. It looked really good, objectively, crisp bacon and warm golden toast, baked beans and an egg… But Draco just wasn't hungry. Didn't think he ever would be again.

"how are you doing?" Severus finally asked. "fine." Draco lied, "I just need a rest."

"you've been asleep for over a day." Severus informed him, trying to sound gentle. "seriously?" Draco asked, crumpling back into the bed, trying to keep the demons at bay for just a little longer.

"mhmm. You were almost completely drained of magic by the time you got here, you passed out in the garden, in fact."

"I'm not surprised, I kind of…destroyed his flat." Draco took a shaky breath, just remembering the events of last night was exhausting. Severus raised one long, thin eye brow; a silent invitation to continue. But Draco didn't know what to say, where to begin, he just opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.

"did you actually talk to him?" Severus finally asked. "no. he was out of the house when everything…when I understood. I only aperated away when I heard him come in again. " Severus nodded and fought the urge to stroke the hair out of Draco's eyes. The poor boy looked exhausted and grey. They sat in silence a moment longer. Severus feeling useless and awkward , finally, he stood up and went to leave, saying a quick;

"eat. I know you don't want to. But you need to."

At the very same moment, not so far away, Harry was also staring blankly into a plate of food.

He couldn't believe it.

Gone

After all this time

His love

Harry felt tears spill on to his cheeks and let out a loud, undignified sniff. He looked up at the wall, Draco's last message to him still emblazoned on it. Last night he was catatonic with grief, and hadn't bothered to clean anything up, merely shutting Pringles in a room that hadn't been damaged and leaving her with water and a little food. And even then he was sobbing. When he had heard Draco aperate away, he knew exactly what had happened; he didn't need the utter devastation in his home. But he knew he deserved it.

That day was easily one of the worst of his life. He cried almost constantly, it was like suddenly having a limb ripped away from him. His Draco was gone. For over a year Draco had been a constant presence in his home, leaving only on the rarest opportunities, and even then Harry was with him. He was lost, he was left, he was so, so alone. And he couldn't bare it. He wanted desperately to see him one more time, or just to know that he was okay, that he was somewhere safe. That used to be Harry's job, keeping him safe, and happy, and loved. Who would do it now? Would Draco do it on his own? Could he? Harry sat on his and Draco's bed, not caring about the ripped pillows, or cracked head board, only caring that he and Draco had been there, together…

He didn't even have the crutch of self-indulgence that most deserted lovers had, he couldn't bear to comfort himself as he knew damn well it was his own fault. So he just cried.

Draco did that too. Except he flittered between shock, denial and desolation. He stayed in bed for three days, until one morning he just threw back the covers and stood. Everything felt new now. He was utterly aware of the fact that he stood as a free man. No master, no rules, no duties. The first thing he did was look in the mirror. His hair was dry as straw and his face was peppered with black heads, not a pretty sight. His clothes were rumpled and stank of rotting eggs. There was only one desirable thing about his appearance; his collar.

He swallowed, looking at it properly for the first time in a long time. He hadn't taken it off yet because, well it, just felt right there. Like it belonged on him, like taking it off would somehow upset the natural balance of his body. But he had to. Severus would ask why he still worse it and he had no logical answer what so ever to give him. To say that 'it just felt right' would be embarrassing and week. And he had had _enough_ of that. He never wanted to be week again.

Slowly, achingly, he placed his hands on the band at the back of his neck, just above his spine. He pressed down, hard and it opened, enchanted to be a perfect circle when worn, but to open smoothly when desired. It was a beautiful thing. A magical thing. He inched it forward, the ends just grazing his neck as he removed it for the final time.

He placed it on the table and snapped it shut again.

The sound was remembered in the room long after it had gone.

And he didn't know why his whole body suddenly felt colder, but it did. He felt the absence of Harry keenly for a moment, not his master, but Harry, the one who cuddled him, wrapped the blankets around him at night, hugged him, kissed him so gently, the one that took him in to the sun and fed him, saving him from the very brink of starvation.

He screamed, and put his fist though the mirror.

That Harry had no right to be in him, in his memories, his thoughts. Harry was evil, vile, scum of the earth. The memories of his abuse came screaming back at him, expelling the sweet just as suddenly as it had come. He kicked out at the wall and let out another roar. His whole body seized in anger and pain and he wanted to die just to get the pain out from inside of him

In a flash, Severus had barged though the door, wand in his hand, certain that Draco was being attacked, but Draco just stood there, looking at the mirror now in a thousand pieces on the floor.

"I think I need to find some way to deal with anger." Draco said, turning to flop back down on the bed again. He decided he had had enough exercise for that day. With a flick of Severus's wand, the mirror flew back into place again, perfect as ever.

"yes." He said simply. "you should." He sighed and sat down on the bed next to Draco, wishing he knew what to say. He stayed most of the day in Draco's room, soothing him occasionally, but mostly being a silent, comforting presence.

It was lucky really that this had happened when it did. The school year had just ended and so Severus work load was vastly decreased. Only a few students remained at the school, either the substandard that had to repeat a course, or the few, like Hermione Granger that simply wanted to get ahead.

The next Monday, Severus glided down the mostly empty hall of the university, he did not stalk anymore, deciding that with older students he did not have to be quiet so intimidating. He was now considered extremely strict, but fair and actually rather humorous if you managed to get on his good side. It was rumoured only a handful of students had ever managed to get on his good side during his whole career… it was a much coveted position for all his students. He didn't know it, but most of them idolised him.

In some ways the school was much like Hogwarts, a beautiful, magical building that was called home by many. But this was not quite so large, allowing the students and faculty to become closer, everyone knew everyone, at least vaguely. It's halls were made almost entirely of white marble, they sang of academic promise, instead of the mystery that Hogwarts did.

Hermione rounded a corner in front of him, head stuck in a book as she walked. A small smile graced Severus's lips, gone before it was noted. "Ms. Granger." He greeted, her head snapped up, although she knew who it would be. "professor." She said in return. They were the ones in the school to address each other as such, the rest of the academy preferring less formal titles. It started out as a refusal to move on from the past, but now, it was almost, almost an inside joke between them…

"how is Mr. Potter doing?" he asked, he had never bothered with small talk and wasn't about to start now. He wanted information and he would get it.

"Awful." She said with a small shake of her head.

_Good_, Severus thought savagely. "And how is Draco?" She inquired. "as…well as can be expected." Severus said hesitantly. The truth was he just didn't know, they did not go in for long heart to hearts, the boy had been, well…he appeared dead sometimes, apart from sudden bursts of crying or anger…

"ah," she said, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am sorry to hear he isn't… well."

Severus sighed and "I have to say I'm amazed he made it this far. And in a comparatively short space of time…"

"yes, I am too actually. It seems so long ago, I can't believe its only been a year." She mused, this whole year was just a blur of papers to her really. Of course she had tried to be there for Harry, and for Ron too, but it was a bit awkward since their break up…

"God, only a year…I don't know about you, but I never thought I would see a time past the war, let alone such a…comparatively normal time." She smiled up at him, honoured to hear something so personal. He clearly hadn't meant to blurt it out, because he blushed and was about to step away when she said;

"yes. I know what you mean. The war was such a big thing I had never been able to see past it. And now it's gone…life feels a bit empty." She had never admitted that to anyone before, it sounded so ungrateful, as if he wanted it back. She didn't, but what she said was true, her life was boring now, compared to what it had been. She didn't know it, but a little part of her envied Harry for having one last 'adventure'.

"yes, well, we seem to be on the same page." He said stiffly. He was not used to personal conversations, especially in the middle of random corridors. " I have work to do, but Draco needs his wand back. I assume Potter will hand it over without any fuss." He said, a threat in his voice.

"he will." Hermione reassured him. She smiled as he swept away. Severus had always had her respect, ever since her first year at Hogwarts. She wasn't always certain he deserved it, but now she was certain, completely and utterly. He was a good man. One good man was not enough to save Draco, but perhaps two were? She truly hoped so. She had come to care for Draco, a lot really….

When she told Harry that he could do something for Draco, his whole face lit up, feeling as if he finally had a purpose in life again. He searched the house high and low, finally putting some of it back to rights again before he remembered; it wouldn't be there.

If he had it, it would be in his other house, where he had originally taken Draco. He felt a chill work its way up his spine and invade his body. That house made his skin crawl and his insides turn to ice. But he went there anyway, determined to do anything for Draco.

He held his breath as he pushed the door open; he hadn't had a good look around the place the first time he was here, who knew what he would find?

It was a horror house, in the truest meaning of the word. It was filled to the brim with the macabre, in harsh juxtaposition to the obvious luxury that Harry had lived in while he was there. Not for the first time he wondered how on earth Draco had survived. But he had, Harry thought fiercely and he was _better_ now. He should be proud, and so, so happy for him. He felt a wave of anger at himself, he was so selfish he hadn't even been able to be happy for Draco. God he was such a horrible person. He had never deserved Draco…..

The first and second floor of the home were littered with depressingly evil items, but nothing that he didn't really expect. No wand though…. With much trepidation, Harry made his way down to the basement, he had a bad feeling about this…

The first thing he noticed was the smell, it _stank_.

When his eyes adjusted to the light he could tell it was far more a dungeon, a torture chamber than a mere basement. He didn't know why he was still so surprised really, but he was, every room in this house just had another reminder of that fact that he didn't deserve to live.

It was a long, thin corridor, lined with cells and splattered with blood. There were ominous looking metal instruments on the floor, he tried not to look too closely at them. There was hardly any light either, so Harry had to feel his way along, only dimly able to see past the end of his nose. He tried a quick lumous, but it seemed to make no difference. He could only assume he had cursed the room to stay dark no matter what, for his own perverse pleasure….

And then he saw it. The source of the smell. In fact, he tripped over it. It was an arm. A human arm , attached to a human carcass, rotting flesh, feasting worms, face pressed up against the bars of the cage, frozen in the fight he had been battling in life, scrambling to get out, to survive…

Harry vomited down his front, bracing himself against the wall as once again the hysterical sobs came. He got on his knees and begged the corpse for forgiveness, screaming his apologies, holding the decomposing hand to his chest as if to transfer his heart beat to the body, anything to fix what he had done…


	14. Chapter 14

_Okay guys, so huge apologies for making you all wait BUT I have two good excuses. For the first few days I was reading the hunger games and I wasn't going to stop for anything, they are AMAZING BOOKS. And for the last few….I've met a man, a very, very nice man! Anyway, finally up, please, please review! _

Guilt gripped at Harry like a vice. It caved his chest in and squeezed his mind, making even breathing feel like an impossible feet.

He was back in his penthouse flat and nursing his fourth brandy. He had buried the poor man in the garden of the house, but it was an ugly job with the corpse falling to bits and oozing all over the lawn. All of that meant Harry couldn't keep anything down, and in the end the grave held not only rotting flesh, but Harry's own blood, vomit and tears. It could almost be considered comic if it wasn't so serious.

He had killed someone. Not in self-defence, not in defence of another, but he had outright killed… he and Draco lived in decadence and wanted for nothing while some poor soul starved to death. Starved, while Harry could have saved him. His would have been a slow and painful death, so utterly alone, so cold, not even light for comfort. Harry tortured himself by imagining the man's last moments, reliving them in a hundred ghastly ways.

He downed the drink and poured himself another, shivering, not only in remorse, but because he knew this wasn't the end. He had left a wooden cross as a grave marker, but he would have to get a proper headstone, probably a huge monument as his mark of regret. He knew it wouldn't do anything, but it was all he could do.

But getting a grave meant finding out who he was. His name. his birthday, probably seeing his family… Harry's breathing was shallow and shaky and he felt like he was on the edge of a panic attack. He was so, so sorry.

He felt threated by everything, like every item, memory, thought was accusing him of the crimes he had committed. He felt so much judgment inside of him that he imagined it to be everywhere and he was drowning in it.

He would rather down his sorrows in alcohol, so he did.

He woke up the next morning draped across the table, back aching and skull throbbing. His mouth was fuzzy and he felt like hell. But he was still crushingly aware of the fact that he wasn't feeling anywhere near as much pain as he had made Draco feel, or that poor man from yesterday…

And so Draco and the corpse were the first thing on Harrys mind. Well, Draco was always the first thing on Harry's mind, and from now on he guessed the corpse was going to take up permanent residence too…

God he had to find out what that guys name was, it felt so disrespectful to keep thinking of him as 'the corpse'

But he had no idea where to start. It occurred to him now that he should have kept a part of the body to see if it was magically identifiable. He laughed bitterly, couldn't he do anything right?

But at least he had something to do now. He fed Pringles quickly and changed, trying to look as if he had a reason to live anymore.

First, he tried Hermione; see if she had any ideas as to identify the man. But she wasn't in, probably the university library he guessed, memories of Hogwarts coming back to him with a fierce longing for happier times. Now, he was totally at a loose end. He knew Hermione could help him, but he didn't feel like hanging around for her.

And then he thought of the next most intelligent person he knew; Severus Snape. Well, to be fair, Severus was equally as intelligent as Hermione, if not more so, but for obvious reasons he wasn't Harry's first choice.

For a moment, Harry loitered on Hermione's door step, wondering if he should ask the man for advice. And then he thought; _Fuck it, I might as well, I don't really care if I piss him off._ And besides, it was better than feeling depressed all day, and yes, he was _that_ desperate for something to do.

That was true, although he did have an ulterior _motive_; he was desperate to see if Draco was there. But he did have a valid reason for going, and Severus had been at his house plenty of times… So maybe it wasn't too bad. With a deep breath, he aperated to Severus home. He had only been there once before, during the war, but he remembered where it was.

The house was pretty much what he remembered it to be; modest and yet with an air of dignity. It was a brown cottage that looked to be very old, over all it was nice, but it needed some colour.

Now he was here, he wasn't too sure that it was a good idea. The last time he talked with the man it was reasonably cordial, but still, turning up on his door step? Maybe he should just owl… but then he thought about the possibility that Draco was only a few feet away from him and before he knew it he was ringing the doorbell.

He waited only a moment before the door was opened. Severus did **not** look pleased to see him.

"Potter" he sneered, spittle land on Harrys shoes. "what do you want?"

"I wanted to ask for your help." Now he was face to face with the man he admitted it was a bad idea to come here, but in the hazy state of guilt and despair he now lived in he wasn't very good and making smart decisions.

Severus opened his mouth, no doubt to say something sarcastic and unhelpful but then someone appeared behind him and Harry yelled; "Hermione?"

"Harry!" she shot back, surprised but clearly happy to see him.

The first thing Harry noticed about her was that she was wearing what seemed to be a muggle lab coat, the second was that she was actually wearing makeup, and apart from whatever the hell was on her jacket, she looked nice.

"what are you doing here?" she asked. "my question exactly." Severus added, looking more than a little annoyed.

"I looked for you first actually Hermione" Harry said, trying to dodge the question. He hadn't really thought about the fact he would have to admit to murder… god he was all over the place, he felt tears pick at the back of his eyes and was aware of how insane he must look, showing up like this, crying for seemingly no reason...

She raised her eyebrows and reached out to him, before again asking; "why?" Finally, Harry knew he was going to have to say. He opened his mouth but before he could, a new voice joined them; "Potter" he hissed, deadly as a viper.

Harry's breath caught in his chest. No matter how desperately he had wanted to see Draco, he wasn't ready for it. He was so, so in love but Draco had drastically changed in the week they had been apart. He had black bags under his eyes, his body buzzed with a tension Harry had never seen before, he snarled like a dog and Harry took a step back from him, although why, he couldn't tell.

"Draco…" Harry whispered, so reverently it was almost a prayer.

"what do you want?" Draco snarled, although it had a hysterical edge to it. "we would all like to know that." Severus said, ready for a fight.

"I, um, well I wanted to kind of ask S-snape something, but I guess you'd know more."

Harry's stomach twisted as he realized that The Corpse and Draco probably knew each other, had probably helped each other, had probably been punished together… might have even been friends.

No one said anything, but Draco was breathing hard, feeling bile rise up inside of him at the mere sight of Potter. Harry wanted to just stare at Draco forever, but something told him his time was fast running out and so he jumped right in.

"who- who was the man, I've just been back to the house and th-there was a man. Well, he was dead, and I've buried him, but-" Harry rambled.

"what?" Draco spat, as if Harry was being a total idiot.

"t-there was a corpse…of a man, in the cellar. I need to get a grave. Who was he?" Harry hated saying it, but loved just being with Draco.

Draco, who let out a high, cold laugh and said; "so you finally murdered him did you? I always knew you would" Harry flinched, shaking with remorse, with desire for the man before him, with the agony of conflicting emotions. But Draco wasn't done yet.

"he was my lover before you stole me. We were engaged, his name was Jason Moore, _I loved him_ and you just adored using him to hurt me. Satisfied?" by the end of his little speech he was screaming, memories threating to swallow him whole. Harry's whole body went pale and rigid, almost like a corpse himself. Draco had been in love. Harry had killed his fiancée. This was the end, until now Harry had hoped that maybe, one day, his love would forgive him, but no. Not after this. There was no going back. He felt the last spark of lightness in his body leave and he just stood, rooted to the spot.

But Draco had more energy, he burst past Harry and into the street.

And then Draco was running, hurting down the pavement as if possessed, he didn't know where he was going, he just had to get away.

He said what he did because Potter deserved to feel terrible, to be in so much pain he couldn't bare it, to scream inside himself every second of every day. He guessed that the version of event he gave Harry would hurt the most, but it wasn't actually true. He had lied.

Lied, lied, lied, lied, lied.

With every footfall the word echoed inside of him. He ran faster but the words sped up too.

He wasn't allowed to lie to master. Bad things happened when he lied to Master. Logically Draco knew this was bull shit, but it was so far engraved in him that the fear soon grew into full-fledged paranoia; like bugs crawling over his skin, it encased him in terror. Every person and sound was now out to get him, sent by master to punish him for lying.

When he just couldn't take it anymore, when he felt a scream threaten to rip through him, he turned back, returning home. Severus said something to him when he burst into the house, but he didn't hear him, his mind was confession. Hastily, he grabbed parchment and quill and wrote to his Master. His hand was shaking so badly he wasn't sure if Harry would be able to read it, but that was Harry's problem, he thought hysterically.

_I lied_

_The corpse wasn't real _

_You can buy them at fetish stores_

_You liked them more than real dead bodies because you could charm them into different states; skeleton, freshly dead, zombie, ect. And they never fully decomposed, which was "such great value" As you said at the time._

_You liked to animate it and watch it rape me. _

_Sick fuck. _

Draco attached it to the owl with shaking fingers, trying and failing so many times that the owl grew impatient and Severus had to do it for him.

Harry wasn't sure how he got home, he thought Hermione might have taken him, but he didn't really care right now.

He got the letter, but didn't bother reading it, or even looking at it. He just threw it on the table. He didn't think in a million years Draco would write to him, and if it wasnt Draco, Harry didn't want to know.

Back at Severus's home, Draco's voiced resonated though out the house, until now just a primal scream.

"How dare he do this?" Draco's voice boomed, he knew Severus could hear, he wanted him to, wanted everyone to. "He's turned me into a fucking grfyendoor he's made me some sick fuck, I would have him kill me rather than exist as some weird creation of his fucked up mind. I hate him, I hate me, he's STILL INSIDE MY HEAD and I HATE HIM."


End file.
